Interested or Committed?

Dec 3, 2017

Interested or Committed?

Intersted or Committed?Interested or Committed?

Straddling between the two?

Are you interested or committed?

Interested in that girl or boy, or committed?

Interested or committed to your job?

Interested or committed to your wellbeing?

What is the difference?

If interested you are dabbling, dreaming, meandering along a path, with one foot forward and one foot behind, and not ready to take the plunge.

Commitment feels different as both feet are planted firmly on the ground; you are sure what it is you want.

When interested the energy behind it feels frail and spongy, not solid and robust like commitment.

An interested person is someone you are unsure of; you cannot quite trust they will do what they say, most likely they will not.

“Hey, lets get together soon” with no date scheduled are they interested or committed?

Now a committed person is steadfast, faithful and will persevere no matter what.

We all know of someone in our life like that; mums, dads, a friend… partner?

It is also apparent those who are just interested.

All commitments start out as interests however; most interests never progress into commitments.

Interested to exercise, with no commitment to follow through.

Interested in the idea of  meditating daily, though never start

Half at work and half at home, interested.

Fully at work or fully at home, committed.

Let’s be honest it is more fun to be interested, because it takes no effort or risk of failure.

Once committed it is a harder more treacherous road than interested

Why commit then?                                                                               

Because commitment is the only way to grow as a person and the only way to build resilience.

It is about grabbing hold of the stars, rather than just reaching for them.

Commitment gives life purpose and meaning and ultimately our inner peace and happiness.

Why not take a risk and commit to your interest.

 

Recipe: Commitment Breathing Exercise

Our breathing patterns can teach us about whether we are committed fully to what we are doing

If shallow, less committed

If deep, more committed

Settle into a comfortable seat, close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths

Begin to feel a breath, as it enters your nostrils and observe the movement into your chest and the expansion of the belly

As you breathe out notice the movement of the breath as the belly draws in, and the breath moves into our chest and throat and out your nostrils.

With the next inhale, take a shallow breath, don’t fully commit to your breath and exhale. Do this a few times

Commit to making changes in your life for the New Year

Why not commit the January the course, details on the link below (click on ‘Mindfulness Course’)

Mindfulness Course

Nov 26, 2017

Stay in your lane

Stay in your laneAre you the kind of person who stays in your own lane or do you overtake?

Overtaking is indeed exhilarating, flying past the slower more tentative driver can give you a rush.

Doped up feeling faster and cooler, ahead of the pack.

The chase to be ahead begins as a lighthearted race, sustained by overtaking as many people as possible.

At what point does it stop?

As there will always be someone slower or faster than you, switching lanes can go on until either you crash or get to your destination.

Then it starts again.

Why not just stay in your lane?

Why not pay attention to your own destination, not someone else’s?

Is it boredom, something to do on a long drive?

Is it power, winning at all costs?

Or is it jealousy that person has something you want?

Staying in your lane, focusing on your own future and dreams is harder than you would expect.

In the short term beating the other person to the finish line is more fun.

Though as soon as you gain the leading position, the fun stops.

And it’s time to overtake again, then again and again and again.

When does it end?

It never ends, unless you decide to remain in your own lane and stick it out.

You will at times feel bored, frustrated, ready to pull your hair out, and may succumb to passing the slower driver again.

Only to begin the race again.

Stick it out, stay in your lane; listen to your heart, to your passions, to what makes you happy.

Wave your hands to the slower drivers and thumbs up to the faster drivers, it does not matter where anyone is on their trip, all that is important is that you are following your heart.

Stay in your lane or swerve into others.

You decide

Recipe: Stay in Your Lane 5 minute Meditation

Find a comfortable place to sit, anywhere.

Close your eyes or keep eyes looking towards the ground

Take 3 deep breaths

Breathe in and say silently, “Stay In”

Breathe out and say silently, “ in my lane”

Repeat until your heart rate and breathing slow down.

Notice how staying in your lane, feels restful and peaceful.

There is no need to rush or speed.

You are taking your time, because it is your time, no one else’s.

When ready open your eyes

Nov 19, 2017

Pain and Pleasure

Pain and PleasurePain and pleasure meet in the lift.

Pain, stiff with tension, chest rapidly moving and surging with adrenaline, looks over at Pleasure.

Pleasure, as cocky as ever, steeped with dopamine, pumped for the day.

Both prepared in their own way for the day ahead.

Each differently approaching their day Pain’s head is filled with thoughts wishing the day were Friday, his day off or the day was over.

Pleasure inspired with thoughts of success, longing to get going, making as much money, and bantering with his work friends.

The two, step out the lift, Pain shuffles to his desk, as Pleasure bounces in, annoying all the other’s who too are like Pain.

Few people can tolerate Pleasure; he is way too energetic for the morning.

As the morning progresses, Pain begins to relax a little, allowing a smile to creep in every so often.

Pleasure’s dopamine has drooped, leaving him drained, less smug, looking forward to the coffee fix.

Pain and Pleasure, look across at each other, noting how their moods have shifted from the morning, realizing through the haze something was missing.

Then Soothing sat down, relaxed, breathing evenly into his belly, thoughts on the moment, and appearing utterly content. Sipping a cup of water, he just had spent his break taking a walk; phone tucked away in his pocket and had found a quiet place to sit in stillness for a few minutes.

It then occurred to Pain and Pleasure, Soothing had been the ‘something missing’.

Pain and Pleasure decided together to grab a cup of water, take a walk without their phone and sit with their eyes closed for 5 minutes.

Each took a deep breath and looked at each other with great relief.

Yes, it was Soothing that was missing.

Is soothing missing for you?

Recipe: Box Breathing for Soothing

Imagine a square with 4 straight lines, we begin on the left side and work our way clockwise, to the right

Breathing through the nose for both inhale and exhale

Left side, inhale 4 counts

Top of the square, hold breathe 4 counts

Right side, exhale 4 breaths

Bottom of square, hold 4 breaths

Begin again

Repeat sequence 4x

Practice square box breathing 4x a day, 4 sets of each

Think, box, 4 sides, 4 counts, 4x a day, 4 sets

All it takes is a few deep breaths to shift into a soothing state.

Nov 12, 2017

Chasing happiness

Chasing happinessHappiness is where we all want to be

Who wishes to feel unhappy?

Chasing happiness is a chase like a snake chases an Iguana

A lion chases an antelope

Happiness is not just about an appetizing meal

It comes in the form of love making, spreading your seed,

Passing on your genes.

Strutting your stuff, looking good, feeling pumped up

Happiness can also be the job you have always wanted, or the deal you finally got.

Picking up your phone, a text. Bam! Happiness

Working up a sweat, being the fastest in the pack, lifting the heaviest weights

This chase begins the day you are born, chasing the desire to walk, to speak, and to leave the sight of your parents.

Seeking happiness, we know will finally come, when it comes, and it quickly loses its freshness and allure.

We are on the chase again.

Does it ever stop? Should it stop?

As long as we are alive, the chase keeps us seeking, expanding on what we have, and increasing our knowledge.

Seems good, seems right.

Until all you want is a rest, a moment of silence, a reprieve from the chase.

What is wrong with the chase?

Nothing

It is innate, our animal biology

It feels good.

Though the chase can only last for so long, we feel good, then not so good, or possibly pretty awful

Chasing happiness is natural, though, taking breaks, moments of solitude, soothing yourself is equally satisfying.

Take time to sit and stare, nurture your creativity, let your inner light shine through.

Chasing happiness is a trap. You chase the same thing, same thoughts, same aspirations.

Your groove for the same runs deep, an inner wiring destined to repeat the same mistakes and dream the same dreams

Take a breather from your chase, sit in the sun, and take a break

Bam!

You are at peace

 

Recipe: Relaxing into the Chase Meditation

How do we know we are in chase?

Our bodies will be pumped up, exhilarated and energized.

Rather than keep going, just like having another drink, sit with those feelings

Enjoy and allow them to envelop you

Then take 3 deep breaths, don’t push the feelings away

Place your hand on your heart and relax into the good feeling

Then watch your body soften, wrap around that feeling, your heightened energy and excitement will change its shape

The shape becomes lighter, less of a jolt to your system, more of a relaxed alertness

By sitting with the powerful emotions, you won’t lose them; they will just change to something you can sustain.

Notice if you try to chase the feeling by doing or seeking more.

If so, take a deep breath and stay with what is happening now

You will be left with a sense of satisfaction

Discover how to be happier with my next Mindfulness for

Oct 22, 2017

Urgency?

Waking up on a weekend morning, with the sun filtering through the shades, taking a moment to roll out of bed, meander to the coffee pot.

There is no sense of rushing, no sense of urgency on such days.

The day in front of you is slower, offering any and all possibilities

Why these mornings feel so lovely, because there is no urgency to them

During the workweek, the pace of life speeds up, the getting up is strewn with anxious feelings, the coffee cannot brew quickly enough

The day is choked with obligations, a sense of urgency

Urgency to get to where you are going, do what you do, eat when you have to eat, get home when you have to get home.

Sometimes this sense of urgency seeps into our weekends as well, when that happens when do you slow down?

What’s the rush?

Most things are not urgent, saving your child’s life as they step off the curb into an oncoming car, is urgent.

Braking the car quickly to prevent an accident, is urgent

Saving people from a fire is urgent.

Most of the day’s activities are not urgent, though we approach them as if they are.

Urgency stems from an uptight society, it is contagious

Consumed by so-called pressing things, meetings that have to be attended to, emails returned, all work related things seem important.

Home life can feel as pressured, homework completed, dinner eaten, dance class and maybe a yoga class, thrown in.

Then it is time to sleep, not the kind of sleep after a leisurely day, the sleep that gets shoe horned in so you can get up to race around again.

Your life does not need to be replete with urgency, since nothing is that critical.

Catch yourself being hurried; your breathing will be a telltale sign

Slow down, breathe deeply and fully and say to yourself “ It is not urgent”, “there is no need to rush”, “If I am late, or don’t finish that thing, what is the worst thing that will happen?”

Urgency is a state of mind that depletes your energy reserves, the energy required for experiencing joy.

Recipe: Breathing away urgency meditation

This meditation can be done anywhere and at anytime

Pause for a moment and place one hand on your chest and one hand just below the belly button

Continue to breathe normally and notice which hand is moving more.

If the top hand is moving and the bottom is not, then you are breathing with urgency or chest breathing.

If the bottom hand moves more, you are relaxed

If two hands move in unison, you are most likely experiencing a relaxed/alert state, especially when the shoulders expand outward rather than upward

Relaxed/alert state is when you are calm and awake, neither lethargic nor too energized.

If you are feeling stressed or urgent simply by changing your breathing pattern from chest breathing to belly or both, your sense of urgency will shift.

It is impossible to feel urgent and belly breathe at the same time

All you need is to pause, shift your breathing to include your belly.

Inhale belly expands, exhale belly retracts

Enjoy life more without urgency.

Oct 13, 2017

Caught

CaughtCaught out or in the act, with your trousers down, red handed

Sometimes getting caught is a relief when finally you can be honest

Interesting how much energy goes into deceiving others and ourselves.

Convincing ourselves that we are something when we are not, happy when we are actually depressed, enjoy what we do for a living when we don’t.

With others we paste smiles on our faces when we are angry, say ‘yes’ when we mean ‘no’ or laugh when we want to cry.

Carrying this load of deception weighs heavy on your mind and body, but most of all on your heart.

You might not even be aware of your deceitfulness, despite the fact that every morning your legs feel like lead.

Dragging your body from here to there, to and fro, until it finds a place to rest.

That place maybe on a barstool or in front of the TV munching a bag of crisps.

I have found myself crawling onto the couch, longing to sleep it all away.

It is an exhausting existence to pretend all is ok when it is not.

Longing in the depths of our heart to get caught, then at last the pretending is over.

Initially you find you are hanging from a ledge, not knowing which way to turn, possibly deciding to jump and run for it, or hold on until the coast is clear and then crawl back up to cheat on yourself again.

Cheat yourself from happiness, from thing your truth.

Although it is only a matter of time, when the burden weights you down and you are hanging from the ledge again.

Until the truth is acknowledged and spoken, the ledge is where you will remain.

Speak the truth, if not I guarantee you will get caught out.

 

Recipe: Catching the truth meditation

If you are noticing that you are beginning to feel heavy, lethargic, tired in the morning, not just once but if it becomes a pattern take a seat.

Close your eyes, take 3 deep breaths.

Ask yourself to ‘Speak the truth’, repeat 3 times and wait

Until something pops up for you, if not no worries, repeat the phrase again.

‘Speak the truth’

Be patient, it may take time.

The answer may come as you are going about your daily life.

Keep asking, try not to get caught up in thinking it through, allow the answer to emerge organically, within the silence of the mind.

Be honest with yourself no matter what it is, chronic deception will destroy you in the long run.

Catch the truth

Oct 8, 2017

Enough

enoughDo you ever get to a point enough is enough? You are at your wit’s end, hanging on for dear life, never again… Enough!!!

Enough anger, enough violence, enough busyness, enough dishes, dirt, washing…

Enough of the negative news, stuff, talking, crying, working, thinking…

When we reach a boiling point, head throbbing, hands wringing, skin flushed, eyes glaring.

Enough is a powerful moment to reach the earth seems to stop spinning, a flash of revolt where the next course of action appears as clear as day.

Catching enough is easy; it is the holding onto it, which is the difficult part.

Reaching such a potent place can be the beginnings of a major transformation, but only if you can hold onto it.

Keeping your hand on the pulse of enough proves to be challenging as the vibrations relax into “I can deal with it”, “it’s ok, I can manage”, or it’s not so bad”.

Or your attention shifts elsewhere.

It is expected that the vitality of these moments will wane and eventually drift away into oblivion.

Until it happens again

Then enough is enough, no more, something has to change returns with a vengeance stronger than before.

Until with time the rhythm softens again, the cycle repeats

When is enough finally enough?

How can you capture and hold onto this feeling to bring about long lasting change rather than having to relive it again and again?

Transformation happens when you take the energy and carry it forward, walk with it, run with it, wrap your fingers around it and hold onto it for dear life.

Letting it fizzle out depletes the very energy that is necessary to change the situation.

Hold on; move forward with ease and a purpose, not out of a reaction.

Then change will happen.

 

Recipe: Enough meditation

When you have reached a point where you have had enough, rather than immediately reacting, close your eyes.

Take 3 deep belly breathes, observe your breath as it enters you and leaves you.

As your nervous system calms down, ask yourself, “how can I maintain this momentum”, without impulsivity and overreacting.

Stay with the breath and the emotions that are bubbling up for you.

Ask yourself, “What is my first step?”

Note the ideas, which come up for you.

Slowly open your eyes and jot down some ideas on a piece of paper.

Take one step at a time and make sure you do something towards addressing the problem.

Then change happens!

Discover how to make changes in your life with my Mindfulness Course which starts Wed 11th 7.00-8.15 for 8 weeks. 2 places still left. Call 07742 139 872 now to discuss.

Sep 29, 2017

Presence meets Pressure

Presence meets pressurePresence holds his hand towards Pressure.

Pressure turns away, wanting nothing to do with him.

There is no time to devote to Presence, too much to do, too many deadlines to meet, too much of an effort, why waste the time?

Maybe Pressure will have a drink with him later, after work or on the weekend.

Yet, even then there is no time, children need to be fed, dogs walked, bills paid, lawn mowed, emails read, then it is time for a restless sleep.

Presence waits patiently at the bar for Pressure to show up, once again he is stood up.

What makes Presence so special is that he never gets upset or gives up; he understands and knows that the time will come when Pressure will join him.

It is most likely when he falls ill, or walks out of his job, or loses his partner, and then Pressure will go searching for Presence.

He might find him sitting on the next bar stool as he drinks his 3rd whiskey or is laying next to him in bed as he recovers from his illness.

If only Pressure took the time to meet Patience earlier, then maybe the job would be more satisfying, his body healthier and his love life intact. Because he would know when to pause, slow down and prioritise.

Presence does not blame pressure; he acknowledges that it is the way life, though if the two were to join together, then miraculous things could happen.

Pressure no longer alone, he has time now to breathe, enjoy his accomplishments, be more creative and respond to others with kindness.

Before it is either too late or a crisis ensues, take the hand of Presence; it is well worth the time and effort.

 

Recipe: Inviting Presence Mindfulness Technique

This meditation is an on the spot meditation

When you notice that you are feeling overwhelmed, angry, tired, anxious…

Feeling your blood boil, heart race, shoulders ache, jaw tighten, head hurt, sweat drip…

Stop what you are doing, take a breath in and out, slow down your breathing first, ground your feet to the floor, and lift your head towards the sky.

Take a moment to observe the breath and how your body shifts to a more relaxed state, this relaxed state is Presence.

Then deal with the meeting, conflict, and deadline if you need more time, step away if possible and take more deep breaths.

Return to later, return with a lighter and more constructive mindset.

To deepen your Mindfulness understanding book on my October Mindfulness Course or ask me how I can help you?

Sep 24, 2017

Heavy load

heavy load?Heavy load?

Are you carrying a heavy load?

How do you endure it day after day?

Heavy loads come in different shapes and sizes; some large, small, repetitive, niggling whatever the form they drag you down.

Weighing heavy on your shoulders and heart, if carried too long the body personifies the burden through sagging shoulders, head hanging forlornly and the body has lost its swing.

Burdens present in many guises, showing up as incessant worries, self-deprecating beliefs, perfectionism, and an unyielding quest for happiness.

Such afflictions clutch on for dear life.

Heavy loads are part of life, though the ones that remain a burden are the ones that are never offloaded, they drag you down.

Worries preserve their weight by creating new concerns, even when the old one has been resolved.

Self-disparaging thoughts retain their burdensome heaviness until self-awareness creeps in.

Perfectionism, a farcical waste of time, since it is one of those impossible endeavors, though how many people attempt it anyway? What a useless load to carry.

Seeking happiness is another example of silliness, how many times have you sought your so-called ‘happiness’ and when it was within reach it immediately loses its appeal?

Why continue to carry these burdens despite the futility of them?

None of them lighten your life; all they do is add weight.

The first step to lightening your load is to acknowledge its presence and then slowly remove it piece by piece.

Then notice how light you feel.

 

Recipe: Lighten your load Meditation

First, identify the four burdens:

Worries, self-deprecating beliefs, perfectionism, and quest for happiness

Which one is present in you now?

Look at your choice with closed eyes, do not judge or wish it away, simply watch it.

Say silently to yourself which one it is: worry, self-deprecating beliefs, perfectionism or happiness.

Keep it there until it begins to dissipate.

Open your eyes and get on with your day.

Repeat until the burdens lighten and their energy reduces to a flicker.

Observe how much lighter you feel.

Be patient.

Sep 17, 2017

Stop

Stop

Stop!

When?

What now? The body screams as it staggers home after a strenuous day.

Really!? The head thumps following a deluge of meetings and reading reports.

Yes, Stop! The heart races tired and forlorn having had little time for self.

Despite the chorus of requests to slow down, you push ahead.

Placing more things on your plate, taking nothing off.

Bring it on, you say, as your shoulders slump with fatigue.

I can do it, it has to be done, who else can do it but me?

So there you are with gritted teeth, locked jaw and eyes drooping, unrelentingly continuing on.

This becomes the way of life, you know no difference, aside from the inaudible voices deep from within, bubbling up, attempting to get your attention.

Stop! They whisper.

Stop!! They intensify.

Stop!!! They scream.

Then you may stop and listen, only because your body has been wrestled down with an illness or the mind has laid a heavy blanket of gloom over you.

This may be your catalyst to stop and take a respite, until you recover your health and energy, only to jump back on the fast track of life.

Stopping again only when the body shouts again.

The cycle continues, until recuperation takes longer, illnesses become chronic, life-threatening, and then you might stop.

This time stopping does not entail living healthy and well, it tucks you away in a vacuum of joylessness and suffering.

It sounds grim, but why wait to find out stop and slow down.

Say no more, leave your plate half empty and say yes to things that make you happy.

Stop and ponder this thought.

 

Recipe: Stop Meditation

When you notice that you are feeling tired, overwhelmed, stressed, unfocused, angry, irritable…

Stop, take 3 deep breaths, slow down.

Ask yourself honestly, “Am I doing too much?”

If you are feeling any of these feelings, odds are you are overextending yourself.

Stop again and take 3 deep breaths, slow down.

Ask yourself, “ What can I let go of?”

Remind yourself, that taking care of yourself is paramount to your long-lasting physical and mental health.

Don’t shortchange your needs.

Stop again, take 3 deep breaths, relax your shoulders, your face and sit up tall with your feet resting on the ground.

It takes time to chip away your schedule and create a new mindset that less is more.

 

To deepen your Mindfulness understanding either book on my October Mindfulness Course or ask me how I can help you?

RJMindbody

RJMindbody