The Blame Game
Are you destroying your relationships and happiness by blaming?
We all play the blame game.
Even if you deny you do it, you do it.
Leaders of countries blame other leaders.
People blame their bosses, loved ones blame each other.
All the way down to the child accusing his sister of hiding his lollipop.
We all point our fingers in the direction of others.
Triggering the good feeling hormones which puff us up.
If we had feathers our bodies would appear twice the size.
Humans stand taller, lean closer and feel more superior.
Simply stated blaming feels good, our evolutionary survival instinct.
For that moment in time, we are the ones who are right, we hold the dominant position.
Until the good feeling hormone dissipates.
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The downside to the blame game is a good feeling lasts for only so long.
As quickly as it came you feel bad again, needing another fix.
It’s referred to as a game because you have to keep playing to sustain your superior position.
Eventually, it stops making you feel good, you get tired, others avoid you.
Blaming harms, both the perpetrators and the victims.
Instead, try turning the finger towards yourself and place your hand on your heart.
Take a pause and look at yourself.
Watch what you are about to do.
Despite your strong conviction that you are right, and your opinion trumps theirs, don’t react to the flood of hormones surging through your body.
Pause and stop the automatic reaction.
Do something completely out of character, walk away, keep your mouth closed or chew on a pencil.
Once the moment passes, notice the fleeting high of being right, is replaced by a blanket of peace and calm.