Month: March 2018

Mar 24, 2018

Blame

BlameThe Blame Game

Are you destroying your relationships and happiness by blaming?

We all play the blame game.

Even if you deny you do it, you do it.

Leaders of countries blame other leaders.

People blame their bosses, loved ones blame each other.

All the way down to the child accusing his sister of hiding his lollipop.

We all point our fingers in the direction of others.

Triggering the good feeling hormones which puff us up.

If we had feathers our bodies would appear twice the size.

Humans stand taller, lean closer and feel more superior.

Simply stated blaming feels good, our evolutionary survival instinct.

For that moment in time, we are the ones who are right, we hold the dominant position.

Until the good feeling hormone dissipates.

Learn about mindfulness – join me on my next Mindfulness Course in London starting 16th April more details

The downside to the blame game is a good feeling lasts for only so long.

As quickly as it came you feel bad again, needing another fix.

It’s referred to as a game because you have to keep playing to sustain your superior position.

Eventually, it stops making you feel good, you get tired, others avoid you.

Blaming harms, both the perpetrators and the victims.

Instead, try turning the finger towards yourself and place your hand on your heart.

Take a pause and look at yourself.

Watch what you are about to do.

Despite your strong conviction that you are right, and your opinion trumps theirs, don’t react to the flood of hormones surging through your body.

Pause and stop the automatic reaction.

Do something completely out of character, walk away, keep your mouth closed or chew on a pencil.

Once the moment passes, notice the fleeting high of being right, is replaced by a blanket of peace and calm.

Mar 18, 2018

Remembering when

RememberingThat was then

How often do you look back and feel sad?

Remembering what was.

Knowing you could never go back, if you could it wouldn’t be the same.

Life is filled with those memories.

Photos portraying happy times, small children, wedding vows.

Hanging out with friends, being a child, laughing out loud.

That was then.

Why do past memories conjure up feelings of sadness, should it not be joy.

Joy that you had those times, joy that they are tucked away never to be forgotten.

At any point, you can reach down and pull it back up.

It seems ridiculous that such a happy time makes us sad.

It makes us sad because it is gone, never to happen again.

But remember those times were once now.

Soon you will be reminiscing about the now moments, wishing them back.

Those old photos are still with you, simply by looking at them brings them back.

Our mind does not let go of these memories, despite being past it can still bring you laughter and joy.

Is the past really gone forever?

I think not.

Then, Now and Future occur simultaneously.

Past takes a step to the side, creating space for now and future is waiting on the sideline to become present.

Memories don’t need to be sad or lost forever, they are patiently waiting to be remembered.

It is the grasping to not forget or the desire to relive the memory that makes us sad, otherwise, it would fill us with pure joy.

Let go of the grasping and see how good you feel.

Take a Pause Meditation: Letting go of grasping

Take a pause

Close your eyes

Recall a happy event in your life.

Notice what feelings come up for you: sadness, happiness, grief, longing, joy.

Most likely a mixture of all of these.

Longing to have the days back.

Happy that they happened.

Sad because you are older, they are older.

Whatever you feel, feel it fully, acknowledge it.

Don’t allow yourself to explain away the feeling, that you shouldn’t be feeling this or why you are feeling it.

Simply notice the feeling.

Take 3 deep breaths and let the sadness go with the exhale and draw joy and happiness in with the inhale.

Repeat as often as necessary until the sadness is replaced by joy.

Discover more about mindfulness – join my next Mindfulness Course in London starting 16th April more details

Mar 10, 2018

Looking for?

Looking for What are you looking for? 

Do you feel lost, confused, out of ideas? 

Do you really know what it is and how to find it?  

None of us is handed a manual at birth. 

Or a master plan of who we will become or fall in love with. 

Life is a hit or miss shit show.  

An obstacle course veering on and off roads, those more travelled and some less travelled.  

All we know is the world we were thrown into. 

None of us chose any of this. 

Despite it, we all plod on, day in and day out. 

Lumbering through mazes, looking for what? 

What are you looking for? 

How would you answer this question? 

Would your answer be smeared by the expectations of others? 

Or are they your words? 

Do you even know what it is you want? 

Rather than immediately searching for ideas, take a pause. 

Our brain only holds onto memories, the things you already know, the experiences you have already had. 

If you are looking for something new, something fresh.  

Take look at my Recipe: 

Recipe: What Am I Looking for Exercise 

Pause and place your hand on your heart. 

Ask the question, “What am I looking for?” 

Wait, do not seek out the answer in your head. 

The answer will come from the most unusual places; as you are walking, perusing the web, speaking to someone or simply sitting. 

There will be an ache in your belly or a twinge in your heart that will answer the question. 

It might be in form of a word or feeling or an image. 

It may take seconds, hours, or days.  

Keep asking without resorting to the remembrances of the past. 

Eventually, you will find what you are looking for.   

To help in your search do join me for my next Mindfulness Meditation Course starting 16th April Monday evenings for 8 sessions – only 8 places in total

Reserve your place here

Mar 3, 2018

Emotions gone wild

emotionsDo your emotions ever run wild?

Surge through your body like a freight train out of control.

Perhaps you are angry, your jaw and fists tense, you either yell or keep quiet.

Or without warning fear envelops your body, clutching hold of your belly, speeding your heartbeat, incapacitating your speech.

Guilt and shame mosey their way in trapping themselves in your shoulders and neck.

We have all been there.

Moods that swing like monkeys.

Times when we are down in the dumps.

So anxious we would rather choose death over living (hint: public speaking).

Bored, desperately seeking an escape.

Who would have thought emotions had such power and pain?

Our bodies absorb and bury emotions like a sponge.

Organs, muscles, bones and cells fall victim to dis-ease.

These emotions get trapped and toxic because most likely you a deal with them by either:

Repressing: Let me push it away for now.

Denying: I am not feeling that.

Express: Yell or share with someone your feeling; this gives the emotion more power.

Wait!!!

Before throwing in the towel of utter despair.

There is something you can do instead!

Learn more about mastering your emotions with my Mindfulness Course staring April 16th – only 8 places

Recipe: Letting Go Exercise

Acknowledge:” I am feeling anxious or _______.”

Sit with it: “I am feeling anxious in my belly and chest”, “it is ok”, “take a deep breath”, once the feeling begins to lose its grip and power.

Let Go: Take a deep breath in say “Let” and breath out, say “Go”.

Seems too easy or good to be true?

Trust me it works!

Do this with all those distressing emotions.

Freeing up space for joy, love and peace.

Join me for my next Mindfulness Course starting April 16th

Reserve you place 

RJMindbody

RJMindbody