Month: February 2018

Feb 24, 2018

Annoying people?

Annoying peopleDo you have annoying people in your life? They irritate you, frustrate you, their actions get to you, driving you crazy?

Annoyances are everywhere.

Shifting moods in a matter of seconds.

Making you frustrated, angry, or pull your hair out.

Those who are rude and inconsiderate.

Annoying you with their loud, obnoxious voices.

Know it all’s and some who seem to have it all together, boy are they annoying.

The ones who like to strut like roosters showing off their looks and coiffed hair?

They get me all the time.

How about the ones who don’t listen and those who are always late?

The world is filled with annoyances, beginning with the alarm clock.

Moving onto to the bus, which is always chock full annoying people.

Those with runny noses, coughs, screaming kids, smelly armpits, greasy hair.

Racing to the office, slow people in front of you, security at the door, long queues, once in you are faced with a team of annoying people and customers.

All day annoyances, going home, repeat.

Annoyances are everywhere, there is no way of avoiding them.

All we can do is turn towards ourselves.

Let’s look at ourselves, we too can be annoying, ask your friends, family and colleagues.

When annoyed, it is about us, not others.

If our inner world was relaxed and calm, no one could annoy you.

Inner calmness equals outer calmness, nothing can touch you.

No, nothing can touch you, the ranting customer on the other end of the phone cannot touch you.

Neither can your friend who cancelled for the hundredth time.

You are invincible because inside you are calm.

Annoyances are our opportunities to cultivate calm and patience.

If there were no annoyances?

If everything was peaches and cream, there would be no need to develop the art of being calm and patient?

Annoyances and particularly annoying people are your teachers, they rub and irritate you until the choice is yours to blow up or breathe deeply and remain calm.

Recipe: 3 Calming Steps

This exercise is practised when faced with an annoyance.

  1. Take a deep breath, remain quiet, do not react.
  2. Notice the angry feelings bubble up, breathe deeply again.
  3. Repeat silently, “I am relaxed or calm”.

Be proud of yourself you have now broken the automatic pattern of reacting.

Good on you!

To learn more about mindful techniques join my April start mindfulness course details here

 

Feb 17, 2018

Touch and go

Touch & GoInstinctually we are in a constant state of survival. Touch and go can help.

Trying to stay alive, not a battlefield kind of staying alive, but the jockeying for positions in our jobs, homes and social lives.

Making money, finding that perfect mate, going out on Friday night.

All in the name of survival.

A Friday night alone for some can feel desperate and lonely.

Not having enough money can make you feel you are on the brink of losing it all.

Living alone without finding that ideal partner may leave you wondering about your worth and lovability.

All in the name of our wiring, deep within our Reptilian brain, signalling threats and warnings for survival’s sake.

Stop for a moment and take a deep breath, notice how for that second, you are no longer uptight or nervous, all you are experiencing is that breath.

You feel alive.

Or perhaps sitting down for the first time after a long day, placing that warm drink to your mouth, you feel alive.

Then your mind rabbits on again about what you need to do or what you should have done.

Touch & Go is a technique of keeping you in the moment, simply by touching the thought or feeling as you would your Oyster or bank card, and letting it go takes you out of that survival, hamster wheel way of living.

Using Touch & Go removes the upset and the obsession with your feelings and thoughts

Instead of a lonely, agonizing Friday night, of rehashing in your mind how miserable and unloved you are, you will simply Touch the feelings and thoughts, give it a second of your attention and let it Go.

That  ‘woe is me’ moment when your mind takes you on a slippery slope into how happy their lives are just perfect, now Touch the thoughts and jealousy and let it Go.

How alive do you feel now, no longer just surviving?

You are indeed alive.

 

Recipe: Touch & Go Exercise

Any emotion or thought that occurs, whether it is one you wish to keep or not, Touch and Let it go.

This is going with the flow.

When you are happy, Touch it and let it go.

Good feelings are the most challenging since we want to keep these feelings alive as long as we can, though by grasping the initial good feeling it will change no matter how what and will often transform into anxiety or sadness.

The Touch is your awareness of your feeling or thought and the Going is remaining open for the next experience.

Try this exercise and see how quickly your mood can lift when down and content you will be just going with the flow.

Improve your understanding of Mindfulness techniques like this through my next Mindfulness Course starting April 16th – details here

Feb 11, 2018

Lazy

lazyLaziness is a common thread in everyone, rather than fighting it, use lazy moments to understand yourself better, grow and get on with life.

Is this you?

I am Lazy!

I should be doing something rather than sitting on the couch.

Dreaming about the next time I can rest again and chill out.

Maybe I will do that one thing I need to do, vacuum, answer that email, write some music, go for a run, buy groceries, eat healthy, stretch…

No, I am lazy!

I cannot even get up off the couch, off my phone.

What is wrong with me!

Why is it so hard, such an effort just to do one simple thing?

It’s cold out, I am tired, I am lazy… excuses run awry.

What is my problem?

Maybe I will take I nap.

My laziness makes me tired.

Lying there, consumed with guilt, my mind is having a field day, it now has full reign over me.

Disgusted with myself because I could have gotten up, the mat to stretch is literally a few feet away, it is sitting there waiting for me to get my lazy a*s off the couch.

God, I am lazy

My computer is approximately the same distance waiting for my inspiration to spew from my fingers.

Why is it so much of an effort?

I am now up, in the kitchen looking for food, I open the cupboards and see cans of tomato sauce, next to them are the bag of crisps.

Should I make a Bolognese sauce?

No, I am lazy!

Crisps are my dinner and throw in a banana for good measure.

Back on the couch, munching away eating as if I had not eaten in days, unaware of the taste, forgetting to chew, eating to fill my boredom and all-encompassing guilt.

Let me flip on the TV.

Boy, am I lazy!

Recipe: Get yourself off the couch exercise

Laziness is a behaviour experienced by all animals, but it is considered a negative trait in humans.

In contrast, it is ok for a dog or a cat to be slothful, devoting all day to sleeping, resting, and doing nothing all day.

Human brains have laziness wired into their brains as doing something wrong.

Lazy periods don’t always feel good unless you have worked hard then it is has been earned, your reward. If it goes on too long or comes out of an unproductive day then lying around stimulates unhappy feelings.

Whenever laziness is mentioned either to you or to someone, it triggers feelings of guilt, disgust, and frustration.

What I find interesting is that telling yourself you are lazy only compounds your sluggishness; it creates more fatigue and less motivation.

If it that it the case try repeating the words from  “I am lazy” to “I am relaxed”, “I am creating” “I am enough”, “ I am motivated” or create your own phrase.

Simply reframing to a positive statement, even if you don’t yet believe it, will motivate you; giving you the energy/inspiration to do what you want to do.

Feb 4, 2018

Cultivating Joy

cultivating joyCultivating joy requires the balancing of the highs and lows.
Have you ever experienced great joy after completing a task?
The joy emanating from the effort, wiping the sweat from the brow kind of effort.
When you were determined at all costs to make that something happen.
With the knowledge that it would take time, backslides, frustration, yet still persevere despite the effort.
In sharp contrast when something is given to you on a silver plate when a minimal effort is required.
Even if it is given to you with good intentions but left you feeling unfulfilled and joyless.
The experience of joy is well worth it despite the knocks and setbacks, the knocks and blows are what create the joy.

But joy comes at a price; the price is that you won’t get anything, easily or swiftly.

Things that are handed to you without your own effort eventually fizzle and fade into emptiness.
Whereas joy beams a bright light, energising and stimulating your creative juices, not sputtering to a stop.
If your wish is to experience more joy and less emptiness, then an effort is necessary, as would be patience, perseverance and an assortment of uncomfortable feelings.
Joy requires stress and resistance, swings of frustration, despondency and exhilaration all joys energy source.
Emptiness gets off easy, though let’s be honest which would you choose?
Joy or Emptiness

Wellbeing Recipe: Cultivating Joy Exercise
List some of your most memorable accomplishments.
Next, make notes next to each one with how they made you feel during and after and did they require effort.
Take a moment to explore the feelings that are being triggered by this exercise.
Now, let’s look at the present moment, what goal/task are you engaged in currently, reflect on how you feel.
If your feelings are negative; frustrated, scared, overwhelmed or tired, possibly leaning towards the positive spectrum; excited, pumped or exhilarated.
Neither one is the right or wrong emotion; chances are you will vacillate between both when an effort is involved.
Don’t give up when negativity creeps in, understand that this is part and parcel of achieving joy, joy requires an amalgamation of negative and positive emotions.
How then can you stick with it and remain focused on the end result?
Breathe Deeply
Remain present
Stay aware of the emotional swings
Pat yourself on your own back; be kind to yourself
Remind yourself, it will all be worth because in the end, you will feel joy
Joy is our lifeblood, the essence of being alive and is the nectar for a fulfilling life.

RJMindbody

RJMindbody