Month: October 2017

Oct 22, 2017


Waking up on a weekend morning, with the sun filtering through the shades, taking a moment to roll out of bed, meander to the coffee pot.

There is no sense of rushing, no sense of urgency on such days.

The day in front of you is slower, offering any and all possibilities

Why these mornings feel so lovely, because there is no urgency to them

During the workweek, the pace of life speeds up, the getting up is strewn with anxious feelings, the coffee cannot brew quickly enough

The day is choked with obligations, a sense of urgency

Urgency to get to where you are going, do what you do, eat when you have to eat, get home when you have to get home.

Sometimes this sense of urgency seeps into our weekends as well, when that happens when do you slow down?

What’s the rush?

Most things are not urgent, saving your child’s life as they step off the curb into an oncoming car, is urgent.

Braking the car quickly to prevent an accident, is urgent

Saving people from a fire is urgent.

Most of the day’s activities are not urgent, though we approach them as if they are.

Urgency stems from an uptight society, it is contagious

Consumed by so-called pressing things, meetings that have to be attended to, emails returned, all work related things seem important.

Home life can feel as pressured, homework completed, dinner eaten, dance class and maybe a yoga class, thrown in.

Then it is time to sleep, not the kind of sleep after a leisurely day, the sleep that gets shoe horned in so you can get up to race around again.

Your life does not need to be replete with urgency, since nothing is that critical.

Catch yourself being hurried; your breathing will be a telltale sign

Slow down, breathe deeply and fully and say to yourself “ It is not urgent”, “there is no need to rush”, “If I am late, or don’t finish that thing, what is the worst thing that will happen?”

Urgency is a state of mind that depletes your energy reserves, the energy required for experiencing joy.

Recipe: Breathing away urgency meditation

This meditation can be done anywhere and at anytime

Pause for a moment and place one hand on your chest and one hand just below the belly button

Continue to breathe normally and notice which hand is moving more.

If the top hand is moving and the bottom is not, then you are breathing with urgency or chest breathing.

If the bottom hand moves more, you are relaxed

If two hands move in unison, you are most likely experiencing a relaxed/alert state, especially when the shoulders expand outward rather than upward

Relaxed/alert state is when you are calm and awake, neither lethargic nor too energized.

If you are feeling stressed or urgent simply by changing your breathing pattern from chest breathing to belly or both, your sense of urgency will shift.

It is impossible to feel urgent and belly breathe at the same time

All you need is to pause, shift your breathing to include your belly.

Inhale belly expands, exhale belly retracts

Enjoy life more without urgency.

Oct 13, 2017


CaughtCaught out or in the act, with your trousers down, red handed

Sometimes getting caught is a relief when finally you can be honest

Interesting how much energy goes into deceiving others and ourselves.

Convincing ourselves that we are something when we are not, happy when we are actually depressed, enjoy what we do for a living when we don’t.

With others we paste smiles on our faces when we are angry, say ‘yes’ when we mean ‘no’ or laugh when we want to cry.

Carrying this load of deception weighs heavy on your mind and body, but most of all on your heart.

You might not even be aware of your deceitfulness, despite the fact that every morning your legs feel like lead.

Dragging your body from here to there, to and fro, until it finds a place to rest.

That place maybe on a barstool or in front of the TV munching a bag of crisps.

I have found myself crawling onto the couch, longing to sleep it all away.

It is an exhausting existence to pretend all is ok when it is not.

Longing in the depths of our heart to get caught, then at last the pretending is over.

Initially you find you are hanging from a ledge, not knowing which way to turn, possibly deciding to jump and run for it, or hold on until the coast is clear and then crawl back up to cheat on yourself again.

Cheat yourself from happiness, from thing your truth.

Although it is only a matter of time, when the burden weights you down and you are hanging from the ledge again.

Until the truth is acknowledged and spoken, the ledge is where you will remain.

Speak the truth, if not I guarantee you will get caught out.


Recipe: Catching the truth meditation

If you are noticing that you are beginning to feel heavy, lethargic, tired in the morning, not just once but if it becomes a pattern take a seat.

Close your eyes, take 3 deep breaths.

Ask yourself to ‘Speak the truth’, repeat 3 times and wait

Until something pops up for you, if not no worries, repeat the phrase again.

‘Speak the truth’

Be patient, it may take time.

The answer may come as you are going about your daily life.

Keep asking, try not to get caught up in thinking it through, allow the answer to emerge organically, within the silence of the mind.

Be honest with yourself no matter what it is, chronic deception will destroy you in the long run.

Catch the truth

Oct 8, 2017


enoughDo you ever get to a point enough is enough? You are at your wit’s end, hanging on for dear life, never again… Enough!!!

Enough anger, enough violence, enough busyness, enough dishes, dirt, washing…

Enough of the negative news, stuff, talking, crying, working, thinking…

When we reach a boiling point, head throbbing, hands wringing, skin flushed, eyes glaring.

Enough is a powerful moment to reach the earth seems to stop spinning, a flash of revolt where the next course of action appears as clear as day.

Catching enough is easy; it is the holding onto it, which is the difficult part.

Reaching such a potent place can be the beginnings of a major transformation, but only if you can hold onto it.

Keeping your hand on the pulse of enough proves to be challenging as the vibrations relax into “I can deal with it”, “it’s ok, I can manage”, or it’s not so bad”.

Or your attention shifts elsewhere.

It is expected that the vitality of these moments will wane and eventually drift away into oblivion.

Until it happens again

Then enough is enough, no more, something has to change returns with a vengeance stronger than before.

Until with time the rhythm softens again, the cycle repeats

When is enough finally enough?

How can you capture and hold onto this feeling to bring about long lasting change rather than having to relive it again and again?

Transformation happens when you take the energy and carry it forward, walk with it, run with it, wrap your fingers around it and hold onto it for dear life.

Letting it fizzle out depletes the very energy that is necessary to change the situation.

Hold on; move forward with ease and a purpose, not out of a reaction.

Then change will happen.


Recipe: Enough meditation

When you have reached a point where you have had enough, rather than immediately reacting, close your eyes.

Take 3 deep belly breathes, observe your breath as it enters you and leaves you.

As your nervous system calms down, ask yourself, “how can I maintain this momentum”, without impulsivity and overreacting.

Stay with the breath and the emotions that are bubbling up for you.

Ask yourself, “What is my first step?”

Note the ideas, which come up for you.

Slowly open your eyes and jot down some ideas on a piece of paper.

Take one step at a time and make sure you do something towards addressing the problem.

Then change happens!

Discover how to make changes in your life with my Mindfulness Course which starts Wed 11th 7.00-8.15 for 8 weeks. 2 places still left. Call 07742 139 872 now to discuss.