Month: March 2017

Without fear

Without fearPart 1: Without fear

What would a day be like without fear?

Have you ever had such a day?

You now move with ease, as before you felt stiff and tired, slugging a heavy body around weighed down by stress.

A day without fear, lightens your load, opens your heart and elevates your mood.

That fearless day, adds a spring to your step, a smile on your face and a desire to fly.

That day you see the subtleties all around you, you look at the world with eyes wide open, sounds become magnified, smells enhanced, touch actually felt and the taste of foods are the best.

Somehow the food comes alive, when you are without fear and the crow’s raucous crowing punctures your eardrums, when you are without fear.

The sun is brighter and warmer, when you are without fear.

Love for humanity flows when fear is set aside

Is it possible to live without fear?

Not really or should I say not completely, but living with less fear is possible.

It is the unnecessary fear we want less of.

Unnecessary fear is what we fear most of the time.

Unnecessary fear comes under the umbrella of fear-based thoughts which produces worry, concern, stress, anxiety, alarmed, restless, doubtful, unsure, guilt, embarrassed, shame, hopeless…

Examples of some of these thoughts:

Fear when you wake up and prepare for the day, what will day be like, or what will that meeting feel like, how will I look.

Fear of the simplest things, will I be late, will there be traffic, or will I forget the milk I need for later.

Fear what to make for dinner, pick the kids up from school, getting my hair cut, saying hello to that stranger who just caught my eye, where is that matching sock.

Fear that your shoes don’t match, or your nails need repainting, or should I make the bed this morning.

Fear that you won’t finish by the deadline, or that there is not enough money for the rent, or did I water the plants, I think I forgot.

Fear that I might not sleep tonight, or that I am getting sick, or I should really start exercising.

Fear that I am getting a fat, I drink a little too much, I did not eat greens today or I need to call the plumber.

Fear that the taxes need to get done, I forgot to put the dishwasher on, I need to take the clothes out of the wash.

Fear my father is ill, my mother is aging, I am aging, my children are leaving, I am alone.

Fear that I yelled at my child or at my spouse or my dog, I need to clean out the weeds in the front of my house, my neighbor may be looking at the mess, her garden is immaculate.

Fear I want to take a nap, but shouldn’t, If I nap I am lazy, I must go to the gym, will it rain today.

Fear that life is passing too quickly, there is not enough time, I need to get my degree, I need a well paying job, I need a vacation, I am not in the mood for cooking, but should not eat out again.

Damn I forgot the milk!

Fear inhabits every facet of our lives; every waking moment and it sneaks its way into our dreams.

You might think fear occurs only during big crisis events, though actually fear-based thoughts are the most dangerous and toxic.

These fears are the ones which make us sick and depressed, lash out at our loved ones, twist our ankles, create panic attacks, lose motivation, hinder our ability to make decisions, these unnecessary fears become habits.

It is not the gigantic stuff that is the culprit to our stressed out lives, its is the constant chatter in our heads which randomly remind you that you are afraid, stay on guard, be alert, even it is as simple as forgetting the milk needed for the cereal in the morning.

Stay tuned for how to live life without fear in next week’s Recipe

 

Recipe: Becoming aware of your fear-based thoughts exercise

Pick one day to do this exercise

In a notebook or on a sheet of paper, jot down your fear-based thoughts

Thoughts that pertain to worry, concern, anxiety, unsure, anger, restlessness, overwhelmed, stress, guilt, embarrassed.

Thoughts that begin with I should, need, have to … What if… I can’t… It is impossible…I have a problem… I am bad, useless, stupid, a failure…

Notice if you feel any of those kinds of feelings above; ask yourself what did I just think, notice your behavior based on the thought

For example:

Feeling – Anxious and stressed

Thought- I will be late

Behavior – rushing

Next week I will give you the exercise and meditation to begin to eliminate unnecessary fears out of you daily life.

Stay tuned for Part 2 – Without Fear next week

Who are They?

Who are they?Who are They?

They say this and They say that

They tell you not eat late, or not eat too much of this or that

They advise you that you will feel better if you do this, and feel worse if you do that

They state that 8.2 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night is what everyone needs, or else, or else what?

They warn you against sitting too long at a desk and if you stand for work, not too stand too long

They inform you how much you should weigh, how much fat and muscle you need to carry.

They endorse 3.6 days of cardio exercise with a daily 10,000 steps.

They recommend 5 a day, what happens if you only eat 3 or 4? What if one day you had 0?

They may sanction that meditating 2 hours a day, will lead to enlightenment and endless peace, how many of us can meditate 2 hours a day?

All these Theys only make you feel bad if you don’t comply.

Theys seem to never stop.

Who are They, anyway?

Do you ever ask the question, who are They?

How many times have you heard out of someone’s mouth, including your own, They said this.

They are everywhere, on social media sites, in the news, in magazines… our mothers, fathers, grandparents and teachers. They have infiltrated every area of our lives.

Some Theys make lots of sense such as; smoking is harmful, sex without condoms can be dangerous or jumping in front of buses could cause death.

These are truths, obvious truths, but remember years ago smoking was not considered harmful and condoms were not used; yes, jumping in front of the bus I would imagine has always been dangerous.

In other words, They changes with the times, it waxes and wanes.

They is not to be trusted, it requires some further examination.

They places pressure on you and makes you feel bad about yourself

They can be very judgmental and enjoys the guilty feelings it evokes.

So what do I have say about They?

Be wary of taking They at face value, even if it sounds logical.

If you absorb all the They’s then be prepared to feel inadequate, never enough and at times you may twist yourself into pretzel trying to keep up with them all.

I suggest listen to They with an open mind, learn and experience it for yourself and then decide for yourself if you want to adopt They as your own.

Who are They first Listen, Learn, Experience and Decide

 

Recipe: Who are They meditation

When faced with a They

Take a deep breath and pause

Listen to the They statement

Take a deep breath and pause

Learn about it, research it, and offer to look into to it before doing anything with it

Take a deep breath

Give it a try, if you think it may benefit you; experience it for yourself rather than taking it on board right away.

You decide

 

Inspired by two of my perceptive students

Finding your soul mate

finding your soul mateHave you found your soul mate?

First, what is a soul mate?

Is it a person, of course it’s a person. Or is it?

If it is a person then some of us believe we have found our soul mate, some are looking or some have given up.

Why are some the lucky ones and some so very unlucky?

Is it possible, that a soul mate is not a person, but an actual soul?

If we look outside of ourselves for a soul mate, will we always be disappointed?

What if that soul mate, is inside you and has been a part of you all the time? All you need to do is listen closely, be still long enough to hear the whispers from within.

What wasted energy is expended on searching and hoping that one day your soul mate will appear, when it is already here?

Or if your soul mate dies or leaves you, then you are left alone, either searching again or resigning yourself to a life of loneliness.

What if your soul mate never dies or leaves you because it is waiting patiently inside you?

The human brain is ill equipped to grasp things that cannot be touched or seen, anything ethereal is often cast aside as mystical or magical thinking.

A human soul mate, makes perfect sense, as they are physically available, they lay next to you, hold your hand, tell you they love you, as with a spirit soul mate, there are only whispers, nudges in your belly, heart palpitations and flushes.

Now if you are fortunate to have found your human soul mate, it is inevitable they will let you down or a disappointment.

It is inevitable, human soul mates, will fall from grace, but spirit soul mates are steadfast, never leaving you alone, always holding you up, loving you, and reminding you are loved.

So stop looking outside for your soul mate, take a look inside. Once you find your soul mate, that soul mate will be there to help find your human mate. Your soul mate will make sure that person loves you and lifts you up, because he/she wants what is best for you.

First look inside and connect with your soul mate and then your human mate can be found.

Have you found your soul mate?

Look inside, not outside

Your soul mate is waiting.

 

Recipe: Finding your soul mate meditation

Settle into a comfortable seat, with your hands, palms down resting on your knees, arms soft

Take deep breaths

Once you start feeling relaxed and your mind settles down

Take your hands and flip your palms up

Silently or state out loud as you speak to your soul mate.

“I am listening, I am here, and I can feel you”

Pause for a moment and wait.

Notice what is coming up for you, physical sensations, thoughts, feelings, your hands may begin to tingle and become warm.

Sit with all that you are experiencing for 5 – 10 minutes

When ready, gently open your eyes and then get on with your day.

Repeat often and soon you will begin to connect with your soul mate

We are That

We are ThatWe are That

Can you imagine life without worries, no stress, being completely at peace and wholly content?

What if, all it takes is to accept That?

First what does That mean?

That means we are a part of something bigger, greater than just one person, one family or one nation.

That stretches beyond, creed, culture, colour, gender, job status, or whatever differentiates us.

That sweeps past skin and bones and enters deep into the hearts and souls of all.

That is cool, calm, angry, fiery and peaceful.

That loves, desires, holds and kisses.

We are That.

That clears the path for no judgment, unconditional love, acceptance, and compassion, if you remove That, people begin to compete, raise fists, close arms and build walls.

That holds doors open wide, where there are no locks, security cameras or tall spiky fences.

Once That gets forgotten eyes look down, hands no longer reach and people become invisible.

That is always there, it is up to us to lift That up, see That for what it is.

We are That.

Stop trying to do away with That, because That will always be around and at the end of the day we all yearn for That.

Even those people who profess That is not possible, because they are not the same, not one, or are separate, these same people are also part of That, they just can’t or do not choose to see it.

Their minds erect barricades, to maintain an illusion of their power, because if they see That exists, it means that everyone is now worthy, equal and deserving of respect, not just them.

That will free all of us from the sufferings of life; it opens arms to us all and liberates us from being alone.

You have a choice; it is up to you, to embrace or turn your back away from That.

To be part of That is one of the most precious gifts of all

Let us remember,

We are That, already

 

Recipe: I Am That Meditation

Find a quiet, comfortable seat, close your eyes

Take 3 deep breaths, relax body tension and mind wandering

Once you are ready,

Inhale; say silently or out loud ‘I am’

Exhale; say ‘That’

Feel the sensation of bringing the outer world into your body and exhaling your spirit out to the world, creating a union, where there are no barriers, judgments or limits

Repeat for 5 minutes

When finished, take a few minutes to sit with the experience and then get on with your day.

RJMindbody

RJMindbody