Month: February 2017

Loneliness and boredom meet Inspired

Loneliness and bordom meet InspiredLoneliness and boredom meet Inspired

Loneliness and boredom together are the saddest friends

Their crooked arms link with one another, holding each other up

Loneliness hides beneath the covers, while boredom stirs seeking refuge from nothingness.

When the two get together, they are the oddest of companions, both forlorn with droopy eyes.

Nothing is spoken; their presence envelops one another, neither one pushing the other ahead.

They rely on each other to get through the day, laying on beds, couches and such, energy zapped, nowhere to go, nothing to see.

Until Inspired marches in, with eyes round and wide, arms pumping with vigor and fingers pointing.

Inspired, takes hold of Loneliness and Boredom, scoops both up as if one, looks penetratingly into their eyes, right through to their soul, saying,

“Get up!!!!”

“Get out of your rut!”

“You two have been friends for way too long”

Loneliness and Boredom, wipe their bleary eyes, focusing on the dynamic presence of Inspired, almost afraid to move, not sure what to do, where to go, what to be.

Inspired, quite powerful, not intimidating at all, smiles the smile that leaps off walls and penetrates us all. The smile that shakes the ground we walk on.

Loneliness looks inconsolably towards Boredom, their eyes meet, and sigh a touch of relief their days are numbered for the time being. They know their friendship has reached an end, as Inspired as joined the fold.

A threesome is not the same as a twosome, especially if the third to join is Inspiration. There is no room for the three in one bed, couch and such.

Inspiration takes it’s all, Loneliness and Boredom are sequestered to the floor.

Once Inspiration makes its presence there is no turning back, as Loneliness and Boredom, slink away with heavy hearts and weary souls, they creep underneath the bed still friends.

Underneath they lay, listening as Inspiration settles down on the bed that was once theirs, not quietly, or gently, but with exhilaration, the bed shakes and sways.

So Loneliness and Boredom, retreat once again, until Inspiration, tires and slinks away giving the space back to Loneliness and boredom, and then it starts again.

 

Recipe: Getting Inspired Meditation

 

There will inevitably be many moments when you feel stuck, either you are bored or feeling lonely, or the two together.

Rather than doing what you might do intuitively, is to find a distraction, turn on the TV, search the web, grab a book, or call someone, allow yourself to sit with the feeling of boredom/loneliness.

Find a quiet space to sit with your feelings of boredom/loneliness

Close your eyes and allow the feelings to be, do not make any attempt to push them away

Sit and breathe and notice where you are experiencing these feelings in your body

Breathe and sit with them

Wait, until either the feeling dissipates or you are ready to get up

Do not condemn yourself for having these feelings, as they are felt in all humans

Repeat if necessary

Through our feelings of boredom and loneliness, often comes the opportunity for growth

Don’t be afraid of them lasting too long, as they rarely do

All you have to do is wait and see

Giving too much

Giving too muchGiving too much

Can you give too much of yourself?

Some may disagree with the fact there are limitations to giving; the ultimate act of altruism, if you are giver, you are also revered.

Giving is no doubt a loving act, but it can also be attached to something else; expectations, pay backs, look at me, I’m a giving person syndrome, I don’t have to look at myself, and resentment towards those who do not give the same in return.

Please do not mistake me for condemning acts of kindness, I am a firm believer of them, but the kind of giving that is done from deep within, where there are strings attached, that is pure giving.

This uncontaminated giving, comes from within your heart, there is felt sense of calm and love, where there is no need to return the favour.

All of you have given at some point, sometimes it leaves a feeling of warmth, yet there are times your gut and chest tightens, and a slight tensing of the jaw, not because you don’t want to give but you ache to say ‘no’ sometimes.

Saying ‘no’ can simply mean you are at your whits end of giving, you are depleted, and there is nothing more to  give; your giving well has dried up.

How do you know if your giving is harming or helping you?

Feel in; notice the sensations of the body, it will tell you. Your body is your teacher, it does not lie, your body may start with a warm and fuzzy feeling, but with time it begins to harden, constructing a shell around your heart and lungs.

When giving creates constriction of your breath and your heart, there is no longer room for giving, it feels more like you are being taken; you are being taken advantage of, used, or  treated as a doormat then giving is not benefitting you.

Let us be honest, we have all been there, some of us keep playing the role of the giver, until we collapse from fatigue and anger, get sick, or stop giving altogether.

Once a giver it is extremely difficult to stop, because the people you surround yourself with are expecting you to give, they have become takers (often innocently).

If you put your hand up and say “no more”, you risk being told you are selfish, a tight wad, measly and wrapped up in self. All givers need to hear are these words to find themselves back to playing the giver again.

A giver and taker base their identity and needs on sustaining these roles.

Your friends, family and colleagues, will often speak of you with admiration,

“She is so lovely, she is always giving”, or “I wish I was more like him”, the ego gets stroked elevating you to the top of the pedestal of giving.

Why is it that givers wrestle with the idea of absolving this role?

If you have ever been on a pedestal, where people look up to you with awe, you know deep within, that the only place left is down. All you need to say is “no”, or ‘ I am sorry, I can’t”, then your position of loftiness, ceases to exist.

Even the people, who are closest to you, find it difficult for you to reach out your hand and say no more, because they will have to stop taking; the roles may be reversed.

Giving is a virtue, straight from the heart, though if you give too much, your giving transforms into poison, poison for you and others.

In answering the question, can you give too much of yourself?

Absolutely!

How would know?

Turn and look inside, when giving are your feeling irritated, annoyed, tired, overwhelmed, maybe you are getting physically sick. You can also tell when your inner voice is screaming, ‘no’, as you speak the words, ‘yes’.

Ask yourself are the people in my life takers? Do I ask for help? Are my family members thriving and are they dependent on me? Am I afraid to say ‘no’?

If your giving exasperates you, then take a pause from giving. Start cultivating your own lovingkindness, first towards yourself.

When ready, start giving again, but these times use your body sense as your barometer.

Always pause before offering your time, simply tell that person, ‘ I will get back to you’. These are 5 simple words that provide you with the space to listen in and make the decision, which is best for you and those around you.

Can you give too much?

Absolutely!

 

Recipe: Giving Meditation

This meditation offers you an opportunity to create a pause before you agree to help someone.

Close your eyes; take 3 deep breaths or more if necessary

Once calm and relaxed

Notice which are the most prevalent emotions in regards to this request, if they are pleasant, soft and there is no tightness around the heart or solar plexus, that might indicate you continue on helping.

If you get the opposite, unpleasant feelings and physical tension, then rethink the plan to help.

Ask your body, “ If I were to help ______, how would I feel?”

Observe your breathing, the body experience, where tension arises in the body.

This is a sign that you either have limited energy to give or it is giving to a person who takes.

Be careful not to analyse, remain in the body

Beware of  should’s, musts and have to’s statements

Open your eyes, and either try again, offer your help or say ‘sorry, I am unable to’ full stop, with no need to explain.

This is about self-care and love for those around you.

This is love

This is loveThis is Love

Love comes to us in many forms, beyond the obvious, beyond a lover, a child, or a pet.

Love is also captured by the subtleties of nature, the rhythm of life which occurs outside our windows and the constants, the rising and setting of the sun, the seasons.

Love can be experienced in your body as it sustains your life without your interference.

Love is also experienced in a moment in time, when everything just feels right, it does not need to dramatic, all is required is your presence.

If your presence gets drawn away, then the moment is missed.

Genuine love is experienced in the present, when there are no distractions.

Let us take a journey together experiencing love:

Sitting with a child on my lap, caressing my polished nails, this is love

While the sand embraces our bodies, this is love

As the air encircles us and enters our lungs, this is love

Her hair so soft and yellow, blowing in the wind touching my face, this is love

The moment of silence when no words are needed, this is love

Our skin touching one another, as the sea gulls fly above, this is love

Salty smells, sticky skins and sand between our toes, this is love

Sound of the waves crashing on the shore, while being enraptured by a child, this is love

Blue skies, fluffy clouds that watch from above, this is love

Suns rays warming the skin on a winter day, this is love

Older skin merging with the softness of unblemished skin, this is love.

Hearts both receiving love from one another, this is love

Love surrounds, envelops, and embraces us from everywhere.

A child is love and all else that plays a part in that moment is love.

Love is captured in the sun, the wind and the air, as in the waves, the sand, and the salty sting left on the skin.

This is love

 

Recipe: This is Love Meditation

This is love meditation takes you on a journey through your senses, drawing you closer to rhythm of life which surrounds you.

Love comes from within, but also from outside of you. When you are caught up in your headspace, you not only lose out on the energy within in your body, but also the energy that touches your body.

Now take a moment and sit quietly wherever you are; on a park bench, on the beach, on a bus, a passenger in the car…

Either with closed eyes or lower your eyelids slightly so you can awaken all of your senses and not be distracted by your sight sense.

Take 3 deep breaths, feel the inhale as it enters your nostrils and the exhale as it releases through your nostrils.

Notice the quality of the air; is it cool, frosty, warm, sticky, salty…? Once you identified the quality.

Repeat: This is love

Feel your chest rise and fall with the rhythm of your breathing

Repeat: This is love

Notice the sounds, smells, touch and tastes that surround you.

After each moment of awareness

Repeat: This is love

For the next 5 minutes, allow your senses to take you on a journey

Repeat: This is love after each

After 5 minutes, gently open your eyes and take a moment to absorb what you are feeling. Take your time to transition out of any meditation.

I got you

I got youI got you

What are these emotions?

Emotions have the power to bring great joy as well has great heartache, turning you upside down, inside out, running away, running towards, remaining stuck.

Those emotions that fire you up, kick you in the gut, tear your hair out, and make you weep until you are empty.

Emotional rollercoaster, merry-go-round, waves, they make their presence either way.

They are felt in your gut, in your head, on your shoulders, your heart, lower back… the body wraps it up and holds it tight

Emotions grab your throat, restrict your breath, cloud your thoughts, and turn your legs jelly.

This loop between fear and driving forward, when you don’t know whether you are coming or going, until you stop moving, burnt out, sick and tired.

Then you turn your head and look around and see over in the distance, calm, peace, tranquility, waiting patiently with its hand out reaching toward you. Not the apathetic calm, the calm that wraps its arms around and holds you.

The calm that sooths you to sleep and reassures you with a whisper ‘I got you’.

“I got you”, calm says

The emotion that softens your heart, makes you smile, warms your body.

That distant feeling sits looking with encouraging eyes, as it knows what you need, it takes you in when you are at your wits end, when you see no way out, when your suffering has become greater than you.

This calm has no limits, it can give indefinitely, it holds your hand and walks with you, not behind or front, as does sadness and fear, and it is your constant companion, loving you unconditionally.

When life’s storms rise, look towards calm and reach out, take his hand and walk with calm and listen to his words:

“I got you”

 

Recipe: I got you meditation

Close your eyes, take 3 deep breaths

Explore within a feeling you need to attend to, the one that is screaming for attention.

Label it without judging it… anxiety, fear, sadness, hurt, grief, anger… name it.

Sit with it; let it be, watch where it is sits in your body, what it feels like, what sensations are emerging.

Then ask it to leave, release it with your breath… watch it, if it goes or is not quite ready.

Then come back to your calming breath, the hand that holds you.

Repeat silently or out loud “ I got you” as calm begins to envelop your body, mind, and soul.

I got you… I got you… I got you

Let calm and peace hold you and immerse you in love.

I got you

RJMindbody

RJMindbody