Where do I belong?
Where do I feel stable? Secure? Loved?
Am I safe?
Our roots begin with our biological family, whether we like it or not, they are our family.
Some of us are fortunate to have been born into loving families, and some not so.
Our families can be quirky, over protective, quiet or loud… anything is possible.
As we grow into adults our root system is well established, our beliefs and identification with our family are ours as much as theirs.
Why then do we feel like we are rootless, lacking in stability and security?
It could very well be that your roots never travelled deep enough to protect you from the storms of life. Your family might have been there, but you never internalized a sense of security.
Or a parent left the family leaving a hole too big to grip the roots. Perhaps your parents too, had low-lying roots, leaving them without a sense of security, passing on their anxiety on to you.
Your roots may have been splintered by abuse or lack of love; therefore, the roots began to wither and die, leaving no real sense of belonging or trust.
Our roots are what carry and embolden us to rise up in the world, but those roots require depth and nurturing.
You may be the lucky ones whose roots started out strong and robust, yet when you ventured out on your own, you found it difficult to replicate the earlier root system. This left you longing for your old roots, though there was no going back.
Our roots are what provide a sense of security, grounding and stability. Throughout life, roots change, our beliefs change, and family’s change, they are in a constant state of flux.
We know this when; we feel uneasy, depressed, anxious, worried more than usual about finances, your job or where you are going to live. Until the basics of life are sound, unease becomes the predominant emotion.
Since our roots are instrumental in providing us the foundation to weather the storms and manage the risks of life, it is in your best interest to establish a healthy root system.
Examine your own family system; see what is working and what is not.
What has helped you feel more secure in the past, what is missing now?
Besides your family can you find grounding in a spiritual practice, exercise program or a hobby?
Take a look at your basic needs; food, clothing and shelter, are all these needs getting met?
Explore your beliefs and reoccurring thoughts that sabotage your feelings of security.
Take solace in knowing that when one root system dies, with love and attention another can fill the space.
Recipe: Laying Down Roots Meditation
Find a quiet space to sit without distractions.
Close your eyes, or look towards the floor with a soft gaze
Take 3 deep breathes to settle down
Now bring your attention to your feet and your bottom, which are your roots to the earth, especially your feet, when standing.
Feel how the feet and your bottom provide a solid foundation for you to sit up erect. Notice the way the feet touch the ground, wiggle your toes, and feel how the calves and shins contract with this movement.
Continue to take deep breaths to keep you present and calm, while the attention returns to your two stabilizes – feet and bottom.
Now move on to a time you felt unstable, anxious, and insecure. Allow those feelings to rise, without pushing them away or distracting your self. Sit with those feelings.
Now think of a time you felt secure and safe. Allow those feelings to rise and sit with those feelings. Maybe take your hand and place it on your heart or on your solar plexus (under your breasts) or on your belly.
Gently begin to deepen the breath and bring your attention back to the feet and your bottom.
Take a few more deep breaths and when ready open your eyes.
This meditation will help you to see that there are times in your life you have felt rootless as times you felt solidly planted to the ground. Despite where you are in your life, your own body has the capacity to ground you and relieve some of the feelings of being rootless.
By being aware of the signs of rootlessness you can begin to take action to create the roots you need at that time.