Anger, resentment, jealousy, revenge, hate, these are extremes, though we have all felt them, to different degrees of intensity.
You know what anger feels like.
In psychology they say ‘feel your feelings’, ‘do not push feelings away’, ‘allow feelings to exist’, if you don’t you would be suppressing them.
Should anger and its counterparts be given the same rights as those feelings that have less potential to harm?
The answer is yes, only if those feelings are explored quietly, before there is any harm done.
If anger is given permission to flare up then there is no doubt it will cause harm.
Though if suppressed can harm you.
Exploring your anger alone, mindfully is not an act of suppression
Pause and look at your anger, alone, don’t let others influence you.
As we know others can incite anger in us, through indifference, being rude, degrading us, blaming us and hurting someone we love.
Yet, our anger is within, bubbling away in a cauldron, waiting to explode at any time.
Anger is a time bomb, all, or most of us have some festering inside; waiting for the trigger, a reason to be expressed.
Take a look at the anger inside you, not in others; you are the one who is responsible for your feelings and the harm you bring.
Look at how anger feels, once it is expressed, all that is left is pain and remorse, until the anger begins simmering again.
Anger eats you alive, eats holes in your ability to love and care for others and yourself.
Anger is not kind or loving, it is arrogant and narcissistic.
Is there a place for anger, yes and no?
Yes, if you can own it and look at it with detachment and curiosity, then let it go.
Yes, if you can learn more about yourself and find love hidden underneath it.
No, if you use it to bash and scapegoat others!
No, if you use it to harm!
Anger is one of the most infectious emotions there is.
Angry people breed angry people; it can become an epidemic very quickly, whereby fingers are pointing.
Anger is addictive, the power you feel, can be as euphoric as a drug, especially if you are surrounded by a community of anger addicts.
Anger damages people and communities.
The first step is to look at your anger mindfully, sit quietly with it, allow it to swish around inside until it magically dissipates or softens.
Then go out into the world and help others do the same.
Start with your family, then your co-workers, people in queue at the grocery stores, on the streets, on the buses…
Not with smugness or arrogance, but with love and kindness, knowing that we all feel this way at times.
Remember not everyone knows what you know about the destructive nature of anger, or how to diffuse it.
You know how anger leads to hatred and harm.
Show them what you know.
Recipe: Diminishing anger
When you feel anger creeping up, do this before it turns explosive.
Step away, find a quiet space, away from the situation, and close your eyes.
Take some deep breaths and watch the anger, without the thoughts fueling the anger.
Observe it without judgment; acknowledge it as present, though like all feelings this too will diminish.
When calm, maybe take the time to self-enquire; ask yourself, what happened, how was this triggered?
Attend to your anger as if it is an unruly child, hold it with love, and allow it to return to back to calm state.
Once calm, anger loses its power, it will keep making attempts to find reasons to emerge, especially if it is your habit to be angry.
With persistence and patience you will no longer need anger to feel empowered.
You will feel empowered without it.
Now, show other people what you know.