Month: December 2015

New beginnings

New beginningsNew Beginnings

Starting of a new year, the birth of a baby, a marriage, a new home, a divorce, a new job or a loss of one, a death, a recently diagnosed illness…

All of these, whether, considered positive or negative, are new beginnings.

They take you from where you had been, the familiar, the known… to a place you have never touched, and a place full of hopes, dreams, fears or sadness. It is impossible to predict how you will experience this new beginning, whether it will come with ease or great difficulty.

Preparing yourself for the outcome of a new beginning by planning, creating expectations or a figurative spread sheet of what may likely occur, will only leave you more lost and confused.

These events are called new beginnings, because they are new, not old, they have never have been tried and tested before. Even if you have been married or had a baby before, the next time will never be exactly like the first. Your new home or lover cannot possibly replicate the one before. A death of a loved one takes on different shapes and forms from previous losses. If you fall ill your experience cannot compare to other’s who have the same diagnosis.

Your New Beginnings are yours alone, no one else’s.

Too many of your resources are expended on trying to predict the future that leaving little energy left to allow the new beginning to take shape gradually.

Gradually is the key word in coping with life’s New Beginnings.

Since there is no way of knowing the outcome of anything in life, then you can only take it moment-by-moment or day-by-day.

Practice approaching each day as a New Beginning, despite routines appearing not to waver, look upon it as a fresh start with curious eyes, this will dissipate the fears of the unknown and allow the emotional baggage of the previous day to slowly fade away.

Become curious, curiosity removes the fear and heaviness from what you are going through, no matter how painful it may be.

By starting with the day, it is much easier to approach more challenging situations with grace and patience.

Start the day with 3 deep breaths in front of your mirror with a mantra of your choice perhaps “today is a new beginning”

Preparing

Preparing

“We are good at preparing to live, but not good at living,” says Thich Nhat Hanh

What does this quote mean and what are you preparing for?

Prepare for the day, week, month, and year?

Prepare for celebrations: Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Ramadan, St Lucia Day or Diwali?

Prepare for the future, our careers, marriage, children, and retirement?

Prepare for dinner, a meeting, to write, a yoga class, this weekends party?

Prepare for moving house, holidays, vacations or our children growing up?

We are trapped in an endless loop of preparing to live? A spiral of getting ready for something else, the next big thing, continuously preparing for that moment on the fairground carousel ride of life.

The carousel symbolizes the major events in our lives where the act of real living occurs before and after the ride.

But what is wrong with the before and after?

We tend to focus on the carousel experience, the big feature ride; we search out the most vibrantly colored horse. It’s a big event.

Once sitting, anticipating, excitement kicks in, what will come next, the music begins, then the carousel starts to rotate, your body moves rhythmically bobs up and down with the motion of the ride.

You feel the exhilaration at the start, and then it abates as you catch yourself preparing again for the ride to end. Once it ends you are preparing for next ride.

Since the before and after is when we truly live, with the carousel as a bonus, why then are we snubbing the before and after as insignificant moments in our lives?

It is impossible to ride the carousel forever when you only have a brief window before you settle back into the more mundane part of life? Then you are off again preparing for the next big thing.

The traditional Christmas is a prime example, the preparation in anticipation of that perfect Christmas – the before, yet it comes and goes like the carousel ride, then back to reality – the after.

Does life have to be this way? Are you destined to spin through your life without experiencing the before and after with same devotion as the event you are preparing for?

Think how you can begin living in the here and now, prepare, but prepare in the moment. Live for today.

Speak up

Speak up

Speak up!

What is it you want?

Do you really want that?

Do you even know what it is you want?

Is it possible to know what it is you really want?

Are you constantly being swayed to a make decisions quickly and with others in mind, before you know it, you no longer know what is yours and what is theirs; boundaries become blurred.

This dilemma, over time stifles what it is that makes you happy.

Do you too often than not find yourself deferring to others, raising the white flag, seemingly the simpler thing to do at that time.

Albeit, easier in the short-term, in the long-term, its impact can be soul destroying.

Think about how many times you have succumbed to this? Leaving you feeling resentful because your wants and desires had been negated.

It is your responsibility to speak up. Either way or your silence will imply you were unsure of what you wanted.

Perhaps you need to decide not to decide, step back and wait. The only words needed are “ I will get back to you, let me have a think”.

If you know what it is you want, then speak up. By doing so may create divisiveness, though, if you choose to remain quiet, you are the one who suffers, no one can see or touch your pain; only you can experience it.

Your inner sanctity, will erode if continuously snubbed, eventually destroying you and your relationships with the people you love.

Speaking up says you care and value yourself. Trust that you can, and will cope with any complications as a result of speaking your mind.

It’s a win/win.

Speak up!!!!

Freedom

Freedom

What does Freedom mean?

Freedom to live the way you want to live.

Freedom from constant criticism.

Freedom to move your body without restrictions.

Freedom to laugh and play.

Freedom to speak and be heard.

Freedom to express your desires and dreams.

Freedom to walk in your own boots, without being trodden on.

Freedom to have control over your own decisions.

Freedom to be yourself.

Freedom to enjoy love and be loved unconditionally.

Freedom to be creative.

Freedom to run.

Freedom!

Do you feel free? Or is your freedom constrained?

Take a look at your job, relationships, religion and culture, ask yourself, honestly, “Am I free?”

Without freedom to be who you truly are, your life loses its meaning, it becomes heavy and stilted.

The telltale sign you are not free, is if you awake each day weighed down, finding it difficult to rise out of bed to face yet, another day.

Be honest with yourself.

One of the most challenging things you can do is look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, “Am I free?”.

If you answer yes, then what?

If you lie to yourself, then what?

You deserve to be free.

RJMindbody

RJMindbody