Month: August 2015

Chasing the feeling

by Rebecca Jane happiness

chasingChasing the feeling

How do we know when something is right?

Because it feels right!

If it feels wrong, it is wrong.

It needs to feel right.

Feelings are the drivers in us to chase that thing we want.

When we fall in love, it’s the feeling of love we want.

We have choices .

When we experience feelings of love, we pursue the passion; excitement and joy triggered by the feeling.

Alternatively, we can choose to pursue feelings of anger, hate, and resentment.

I recall kissing a man many years ago, which sparked a surge of emotions, this was the start of the chase.

The chase for passion

The chase for a body tingling with desire

The chase for touch that sent shivers down my spine

The chase for awakening my inner core

The chase for fearlessness and a sense of power

The chase for being a recipient of another’s yearnings

The chase for laughter and giddiness

The chase of feeling alive

It was not the man I pursued it was what the kiss awakened in me.

The start of a new journey.

So many of us accept indifference or apathy, yet there is no spark or energy in those feelings.

The chase requires stepping out of your comfort zone, out of the mundane existence, to provoke new feelings.

When I took my first yoga class, I chased the feelings of calmness, confidence, lightness and vigour.

I fought to improve people’s lives as a Counsellor, driven by the feelings of anger and resentment when witnessing injustice.

Is it time to identify those feeling that you want to chase

It requires reaching deep within; deep down into those feelings that float undetected in your inner space. Pick out the feelings you want to feel and then see what happens.

Let the chase begin

Specialness of life

by Rebecca Jane happiness, Mindfulness

specialness1

The Specialness of Life

What is specialness?

A juicy burger in a pub along the Thames?

A freshly made bed with crisp white sheets?

A cup of hot, steaming coffee following a lazy afternoon nap?

Sharing life’s struggles and joys with new friends?

Rocking a friend’s, sweet baby to sleep, so she can take a moment to herself?

Sweating, moaning and laughing as you box with a new boxing partner?

The sweetness of a warm, toffee pudding topped with freshly whipped cream?

Being stopped by a dear old friend from yoga who is always on your mind (for those who are curious, he is Scottish)?

Walking home a different way and seeing sights never seen?

A day of specialness, neither ordinary nor extra-ordinary kind of day, it is just another day, though so very special.

Specialness comes in many forms, often unobserved.

How then can you capture the specialness of each day?

Look!

See!

Reflect!

Specialness occurs in the moments between the events.

It is not the going to work, the dinner out, or the party.

Specialness is on the way there, while there or on the way back from there.

At the end of each day, take a moment to reflect on your day, recall what was special about the day.

Look, See and Reflect for the next seven days.

Treat yourself to a nice notebook, and then take a moment each day to list three experiences that are special to you.

Write a detailed description of the specialness of that moment to you.

After a few days you will notice how different you feel, more alive, lighter and happier because you appreciate the specialness of your life.

Contentment

by Rebecca Jane happiness, Mindfulness

contentment1Contentment

Are you content?

Why not invite contentment in?

Just imagine contentment comes to you.

Is this possible?

All you have to do is sit quietly and wait.

OK so tell more..

Let your mind be open to all possibilities,

Your body is relaxed, accepting whatever emerges; emotions of any colour or intensity, your mind embraces them all.

Imagine that contentment is in every part of your world, you just need to see it.

Observing contentment utilises all five senses: a cup of coffee, soothing music, smell of lemon meringue pie, the soft fur of a cat or a smile from a stranger.

Being fully present in the moment, your senses become receptors, when you are fully present; they generate a feeling of contentment.

Why is this so difficult?

Often because we are just too busy!

Contentment sits within all of us. A seed, waiting to be germinated.

Contentment is not out there. It is within you.

Contentment can only begin to sprout when you are still, relaxed and observing.

Contentment requires a space to grow; in our busy lives we inhibit our opportunity for contentment as we are constantly on the go.

When we slow down, the body and mind follow suit. The slowing down creates an opportunity for contentment to arise.

Vacations become a fertile time for contentment to flourish. Yet vacations are only a tiny slice of life’s pie, contentment can only be experienced sporadically.

How then can contentment become part of your daily life?

Here are my three steps to increasing contentment in your life

  1. Stillness – find stillness even if life is chaotic. Do not take on more than you can cope and practice saying ‘no’.
  2. Relaxed body – use breathing, exercise, yoga and try meditation to trigger the relaxation response of your body. This in turn calms the mind.
  3. Observe – engage your senses, touch, smell, taste, listen and sight to absorb the experience.

Letter to my children

by Rebecca Jane goal seeking, happiness, searching

childrenA letter to my children.

Dear children,

You both are struggling together with that age-old question, ‘what should I do with my life?’

It is not an easy question to answer for anyone.

As a parent and a human being, I too struggle with this question; when I think I know the answer, out of the blue something changes.

I know there are too many career choices today; with new one’s emerging all the time.

I understand how daunting it must feel for both of you.

What advice can I give you?

I suggest you stop trying so hard to answer the question. If you rely exclusively on the logical mind, you will be forever trapped in concentric circles, lost and frustrated

The mind will help you, though you need a seed of an idea first.

The seed is deep within you, hidden, but often blatantly obvious.

The seed waits patiently, until you have a feeling, this feeling can be powerful or subtle, quietly nudging you, either way, we all have these seeds within us.

The seed triggers an urge to search, to dig deeper, revealing a curiosity, through curiosity you venture out and explore.

Searching is the process of uncovering what it is you want.

I know searching can be frustrating because it does not answer the question, it only guides you to the answer.

Remember those cakes we made when you were young.

All the ingredients we needed to make the cake, without them there was no cake. Unless you bought the cake already made.

Remember the satisfaction in making the cake from scratch, mixing all the ingredients with your bare hands, prepared with love, the effort and discipline involved.

In the same way your search, is a bit like gathering and blending the ingredients of the cake. It is the route to revealing the answer to your question of what you want to do with your life?

The search is more significant than the answer, when the answer appears, it will be taste Oh, so, much sweeter.

So dear children, please be patient, continue the search, trusting that the answers will eventually come. There is no rush, just enjoy the search.

Love Mom.

Struggles

by Rebecca Jane goal seeking, searching

struggle

During my Sunday boxing class, our trainer, Jay, looked at me and repeated twice, “strength is in the struggle”.

Punching with all my might, wincing through the discomfort, longing for the session to be over.

The words gave me little comfort in the moment, it wasn’t until after the class, I was able to sit back and reflect.

Then relaxed, my body feels strong, alert from the morning class, the sweat, discomfort and fatigue, only a distant memory.

Relaxed it’s easier to resonate with those inspirational words.

In the midst of a struggle, it’s difficult to see the wood for the trees. All you can see is the suffering.

Only later, you recognize the value of struggle; when it all makes sense.

Strength comes from persevering through the struggles, coming out the other end, with the knowledge that you can overcome pretty much anything.

Struggles help us to get to know ourselves better.

Struggles stimulate personal growth: they help to feed the soul, boost self-confidence, strengthen our resolve, teach empathy, humble us, leaving a greater respect for yourself and others.

In fact our life stories emanate from our struggles; it’s how to connect with others, and their struggles.

Whether you are in the midst of a struggle, or have come through a struggle, see them for what they are:

An opportunity to grow and reveal your “inner strength”.

 

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