Month: May 2015

Expectations

candle1What do YOU expect?

Expectations, we all have them.

Expect a good meal when we go out.

Expect a gift in return if we give one.

Expect a restful or a memorable holiday.

Expect your children will always be in contact.

Expect love everlasting, on your wedding day.

Expect a gesture of love in return if you offer one.

Expect recognition if you have worked hard on something.

Expect that each time you exercise, it will leave you feel satisfied.

Expectations can destroy us, they frame our world, can expose a gaping hole, leaving you feeling tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, anxious and constantly disappointed.

Expectations create a rollercoaster of emotions. There is rarely a moment you will not feel let down, criticised, unloved, unworthy, under valued, and not acknowledged.

Buddhist philosophy speaks of having no expectations, maintaining a neutral position on everything you encounter. So you are leaving space or an opening to allow things to unfold organically, rather than controlling it with an expectation or a judgement.

Maintaining neutrality, is a learned skill, it is about noticing when you are judging or having an expectation, halting the process and remind yourself you do not know what will happen.

When I expect nothing, I can enjoy the moment because my mind is open to possibilities. It’s like starting with a blank canvas where anything is possible.

Without expectations, you give yourself permission and those around you; the chance to be themselves, nothing needs to be contrived. It just is.

This week is the yoga challenge, we enter without expectations but just to be, whatever your personal challenge may be.

So this week whatever you may doing, try to commit to no expectations for an event, an exercise class, a business meeting or just when start your day. Keep your mind wide open to all the possibilities that await you.

Peace and expect nothing

Spaces in time

Big Ben2Spaces in Time.
What is this thing called Time?
How often do we hear?
“I have no time”…
“there is only so much time” …
“time is a-wasting” …
“time is passing by quickly” …
“it’s time” …
“be on time” …
“timing is everything” …
“time to get up” …
“time stopped” …
“lost in time”…
“time is of the essence” …
I still cannot grasp what it means to have no time or it’s time, time for what?
I get that time, meaning clock time, provides a much needed structure for our modern life or there would be chaos – people would not know when to start their work day at an office, or when to send their children off to school, or when to take the casserole out of the oven.
Yet when regimented by time there is no space for nothingness, the space when anything can happen.
The spaces are where we experience joy, our true self emerges, creativity is inspired, love happens, laughter…
Laughter can only occur during those spaces in time, when you are not planning for what is next or what just happened, it comes from the emptiness of time.
Somehow children get it, they get lost not in time, but out of time, there is no time, just playing and imagination.
How can you create a no-time space?
Firstly, be more spontaneous wherever you are… at work, at home, on your weekends, just like you would if you were on holiday. Get to work on time, but change your routine a touch…eat a different flavoured croissant.
If you are always eating plain ones, then it becomes predictable like time, maybe switch to a chocolate one, and then all of a sudden time stops – there you have created the space for your body to say “OMG this is amazing”.
Secondly, avoid spending your days just doing the Have To’s and then complain there is no time for the things that bring you joy. Most of your Have To’s can wait, they just become your excuse to complain about not having time.
Thirdly, take control, it is your responsibility, no one else’s, to enjoy your life!!! You choose whether you put the practical, less inspiring things, in front of what brings you joy.
It is up to you to create your spaces in time

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Super Heros

superhero1Are you a Super Hero?

What does it mean to be a Super Hero?

Strong, independent, not needy or vulnerable, cool, collected, self-reliant…

All the qualities I aspired for and still do to some extent.

Who needs others, we should never need others!!

Right?

Exposing your weaknesses and vulnerabilities will destroy peoples’ opinion of you.

Right?

Wait!

This is not me – me is soft and scared at times, wanting and craving attention and love and no, I do not always have it together

I do not want to be a Super Hero.

If I expend my energy on sustaining this persona,

I will die unfulfilled, drained of the very blood that gives me life.

I realised it is okay,

To want to need and be needy

To fall apart, have someone pick you up and hold you.

It is also okay to not let go of that hand even when things are going well.

To be you, the real you and know you will be loved no matter what.

Remove your Super Hero costume and live your life naked and authentic – those that truly love you, will love you without it.

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Declutter

declutterDecluttering will change your life!

Too much clutter…

Too much stuff…

Too much noise…

Too much food, drink…

Too much weight, stress, thinking…

Too much to do…

Too much busyness…

It makes you want to scream, “Enough!!!!”

It is true we live in a ‘too much’ culture, though most of us complain about it and keep on ‘ too muching’ anyway.

Our relationships suffer, because your ‘too much’ may be way ‘too much’ for the other person.

‘Too much’ creates stress, angry outbursts, unhappiness, anxiety… all unnecessary, because ‘too much’ is not necessary.

Where do you start?

Get rid of your stuff, give away clothes you never wear, get rid of those juicers you used once, recycle old papers.

Do it now!

Not tomorrow or on the weekend.

The time to declutter is right here right now.

Run around your house do not think ‘too much’ about giving up ‘too much’. Just get rid of things in one foul swoop. If you dawdle, you will never complete the task. Trust me it never happens.

A clean, tidy, un-cluttered home will create the space to create a life you want, you will eat less, exercise more, you will lose weight, and life will be less busy and stressed.

I got rid of 95 percent of my so called precious things 3 years ago and have not missed one of them! Not one!

I feel now liberated, carefree, alive, creative… free!

Start with de-cluttering your home and miraculous things will begin to happen in your life!

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Boredom

bored

I’m bored!!!

How many times do we find ourselves admitting this, or heard it said?

My son used to repeatedly say it and look to me for a solution.

I found myself agitated, overwhelmed, searching through my rolodex of ideas to alleviate his boredom.

There were times I would retort:

‘I was not put on earth to entertain, it was up to him’.

Nevertheless, I too picked up on his despair.

I understood what it feels like to be bored, needing to find something to distract me from this boredom, it could be to make a cup of coffee or get on the floor and stretch, maybe take a nap… read a book.

For some when they are bored they grab for fattening foods, alcohol, a cigarette, read emails, peruse Facebook, drugs or get into arguments with loved ones.

I have to admit, my tolerance for boredom is short.

Boredom emerges at anytime or anywhere, it can happen on the bus, or walking down the street, planning for a class or writing this blog.

I am already bored with writing about boredom, oh my!!

So I get up and walk around looking for distractions – maybe dishes need to be washed, I clean one, and then I’m bored.

Make half the bed, I’m bored.

I giggle as write this because I am not supposed get bored or the very least, confess it.

So what to do when boredom creeps in?

Here’s my 7 Step solution:

  1. Do not give in to the irritation of boredom, acknowledge you are bored.
  2. Breathe
  3. Pause, before you respond.
  4. Embrace the boredom as if it is a dear friend.
  5. See boredom as a gift providing a moment to reflect.
  6. Acknowledge it will pass, like emotions it comes and goes.
  7. Check out what is creating the feeling and ask whether it is a signal to change something in your life.

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RJMindbody

RJMindbody