Month: March 2015

Grasp or extend

grasp

Holding on, while letting go

How is this possible?

Yesteryear is not the same for everyone, but for some:

It provides us with a comfort blanket.

The known,

Happiness, solace,

Everything, but what we have now.

The  times we laughed until our belly’s hurt.

When we looked into the eyes of our beautiful new babies

When we ate our Sunday meals together, as a family.

Planted our first garden.

Danced until dawn.

Spent quiet moments on the beach.

Yesterday’s are endless.

They will always be there.

Our nows become then, in blink of an eye.

Do you crave the lost days?

Wishing all was the same.

Missing what was.

Clinging to the past with clenched claws.

What if, we can hold on to those precious memories,

and still look forward to what is to come, with the same fondness?

It is simpler than you would think.

All it takes is a subtle shift in your hold on the past,

by extending rather than grasping.

Grasping indicates a desperate, panicked state.

Extending is self-determined, controlled and relaxed.

When you extend, you invite the past into your world

and choose to disinvite when it no longer serves you.

Begin with this mindful technique,

acknowledge whether you grasp or extend.

You will know, by how you feel.

If you are tense, sad, or empty you are grasping.

If you are relaxed, calm and at peace, you are extending.

Extending is not to grieve what was,

but loosen the grip on the past and live in the present.

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Colourful love

colourful_love

Love is colourful

Is the opposite of love indifference?

Does love mean…

Anger unexpressed,

Conflict avoided,

Voices rarely rising,

Empty, emotionless eyes looking at you as you speak,

Static emotions,

Spoken words soft and dull,

Touch meaningless,

No recollection of your words,

Indifference to who you are,

Or does love mean…

Anger expressed,

Touched lovingly, passionately and lustfully,

Arguments with forgiveness,

Being seen by eyes filled with life and interest,

Heard, listened to and remembered,

Smiles that can melt your insides,

Annoyances that are spoken,

Love for who you are,

Genuine love encapsulates a spectrum of emotions, including anger,

It does not include indifference.

Ask yourself if you are being loved… or loving to…yourself or others with indifference?

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What’s your nemesis?

Letter

What’s your nemesis – A Letter To My Head

Dear Head,

I need to speak with you. After all these years you have taken up way too much space, telling me what, and how I should live and feel. That I am not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough…never enough. How many opportunities have been lost because of what you have been telling me. I believed you, I trusted you, you were the fountain of all wisdom. You ranted on about how I should feel, be, become. I listened, I trusted you.

Your words made me fearful, self- conscious, unloved, hurt, unworthy. It angers me to know I had let you dictate how I should live my life, who I could be friends with, what achievements I was capable of. Yet, again I trusted you.You were all I knew. I had no idea that deep inside me there was another voice, a kinder, more loving voice, that speaks to me in whispers, so quiet, I could barely hear above the cacophonous words you kept lobbing at me.

I am ready to take ownership of you! You are not in charge anymore! I am in charge! I choose! You are here to help me, to assist, not to dictate. That quiet voice deep in my soul, will be given a space to speak and to be heard.

Head, I love you, but you are not to take control anymore. We are a team, you come out when I need you to make some decisions or help me solve a problem. But you are not to define me or place me in box where I am stifled and scared. We both want to be happy, let’s embrace one another and let the other parts of us in.

Thanks for your hard work, but it is now time to take a step back and sit in the peripheral. I will let you know when I need you. Remember I am the one in charge.

Much love,

RJ

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Loneliness

lonelyThe mask of loneliness.

Are you lonely?

I never wanted to admit to anyone when I was lonely.

I felt like a freak, unloved, uninteresting, boring; a real misfit

The one who would eat lunch alone in the lunch room or the one who walked home from school without a flock of girlfriends chattering and giggling.

When I felt lonely I would prepare my mask as I stepped out of my house, hiding any suggestion of how I was truly feeling.

Then when alone the mask would drop to the ground, exposing my loneliness.

Writing this is difficult, because there is such a stigma against announcing your loneliness to the world.

Yet, loneliness is so pervasive, it can be found around every corner.

I find loneliness all around: in nursing homes, hospital rooms, flats, large homes, gyms, buses, parks, coffee shops, yoga classes; loneliness does not discriminate.

Try my three steps to resolving loneliness;

First step, is being honest with yourself about your feelings.

Second step, is to know you are not alone, you are not the only one on earth feeling this way.

Third step, you are not alone, full stop!

Remove your mask and replace it with the truth, that you want to connect with other human beings.

Once your vulnerability is revealed, you are now ready to let people into your life.

Remove your mask, smile and see what happens.

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RJMindbody

RJMindbody