Month: October 2014

What are you hiding behind?

halloweenWith Halloween approaching,

In the US it’s always a big holiday for my family, we always held a Halloween party.

Halloween exposes interesting sides in people:

– there are those who despise the thought of dressing up, it is pure torture for this person to put on a costume.

– equally there those who live for this day, relish the fact they have permission to dress up, without getting too many strange looks.

Then there are those who are the ‘in-betweeners’ … they like dressing up only once they find the perfect costume.

What does this say about inner person hiding behind the costume?

All too often we have a favourite character to dress up as

In truth would we rather be that somebody else?

Yes Halloween is a great time to party, dress up and have fun

Only once a year we are given permission to be quirky… eccentric… mad… silly…

But what happens then to us the rest of the year?

We place a cap on our true nature, until we are again given the heads up to go ahead and be ourselves again.

How about keeping the cap off after this Halloween and remain true to yourself all year round?

What are you hiding behind?

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Open your eyes

2eyeschinaWe’ve all heard the concept of “beginners mind” or “looking with fresh eyes” many times, without grasping exactly how it is possible beyond childhood.

As we age, our eyes become blind to the freshness and beauty of our everyday lives.

Our wive’s… partner’s… husband’s… children’s… faces lose the awe-factor when they were new to us.

Do you remember staring for hours into those loving eyes, scanning every detail of their face?

How the eyes would meet and linger for what seemed liked eternity.

As time passes, our eyes stopped seeing the pure delight of our loved ones’ face. Passing like ships in the night, barely seeing, blind to the face that shares your world with such intimacy.

Yet, when we see a beautiful woman… man… child as we walk down the street… often as we are pushing our own child or walking aside our loving partner. Your eyes light up, they get excited and then are alive again.

Then we go on our way back into our repetitious life, reduced to habits and stop seeing the beauty that is in front of us…every day, every moment. Our eyes become bored not because our partner has not changed… he/she will change inevitably. It is the habits and rituals that are boring, not our loved one.

Look… deep into the loving eyes of your husband… wife… partner… child with eyes that are fresh and alive. Leave your mundane existence for a moment and see. You will see a different person from when you last looked.

Try my 2 minute Open Your Eyes Meditation to learn how to really open your eyes by practicing with an object… this can be done anywhere. All done with open eyes

So go on, now ‘Open your eyes’

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Do you sit on the fence?

DecisionsDifficulty making decisions?

We are constantly making decisions, often not consciously; what to eat… what to wear… which TV show to watch… whether to get out of bed now or lay in for one more minute… they are relentless.

Most decisions are simple, with limited implications.

Then we have ‘middle-of-the-road’ decisions and more ‘complex ones’ that have serious consequences.

My Mom, is the first to admit, that she has difficulty making decisions. frequently sacrificing her own needs to please others.

She is highly sensitive, a people pleaser, fearful she may upset or disappoint someone. As a result, she defers decisions. Her friends and family are forever frustrated by her indecisiveness. I sense that I have also developed some of these traits.

When sitting on the fence there is no peace… the mind chatters away identifying the pros and cons of the decision, heightening the confusion and frustration.

You cannot make a decision when your mind is full… just as you would need to create space in a cluttered room to add another piece of furniture, so we need to create space in our minds.

How then can you become more decisive?

Here are my 4 steps to help:

  1. Check in with yourself (take a moment for self examination) what is important here? Are you being influenced by others, or are you in charge of your own decisions?
  1. Take three deep breaths… pause and sit in silence. This may help provide some space to make a better decision.
  1. Decide! It maybe deciding not to decide at this moment… It may not be the right time… Set it aside and revisit at another time.
  1. Accept your decision and move on.

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Searching for your thread?

Searching for your thread?This graffiti image of the bird with its’ nest,

Reminded me of watching a robin build its’ nest outside my kitchen window in New Jersey.

At that time I used to design and sew quilts on my porch.

I often found strands of my discarded thread interwoven in the fabric of the robins’ nest.

It occurred to me that we also have a thread interwoven in our lives.

A deep meaningful strand that symbolise who and what we are,

Our interests, passions, curiosities, desires,

A continuous thread that makes us all unique,

Often unrecognised, ignored, not even known.

So by taking an inventory of your life,

Identifying the reoccurring thread or essence will help us to answer those questions such as:

What am I good at?

What should I do with my life?

What am I here for?

Perhaps we need to both identify the thread,

And sometimes untangle the knots to understand more about the inner you.

So my challenge this week is for you to explore your life from childhood to now,

And to identify what is your thread?

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