Month: June 2014

Take your trouser’s off

trousersLet your weirdness out

I just finished watching a beautiful love story… it portrayed the real act of getting to know someone, with all their wackiness and without a sense of direction.

Aren’t we all in the same boat… tripping… weaving… banging into walls… trying to get this love thing?

In the film, the father, with Alzheimer’s, would often take his trousers off in public.. not knowing that it as abnormal. Weird, huh? His son, at first terribly embarrassed, but as a gesture of love for his father, also removed his trousers in the restaurant.

The son accepted his Dad’s weirdness and then began to embrace his own.

Don’t we hide our weirdness in the early days of a relationship, fearful of exposing the wacky self? God forbid the weirdness shines through… what chance in hell would you have of being liked, let alone loved.

Our weirdness has a mind of its own and will peak its ugly head out, at the most inopportune times… often when we are feeling vulnerable.

OH MY! That is the one of our fears… you then get trapped on the ‘merry-go-round’ of berating yourself… until there is not an ounce of love left in you… for you or for them.

But aren’t we all weird and wacky? Is there a person living on earth that is not? We like to pretend we are “normal”, if you are one of those… I hate to break the news and ruin your day; there is no such thing as “normal”.

Since this is a truth. Then why not let your weirdness out and take your trouser’s off? I guarantee, when you look around the room, everyone’s trouser’s will be off as well.

Here… here to weirdness!

Wild thing

Wild ThingLet your heart sing

‘Wild thing you make my heart sing’
You make everything groovy’ ‘(The Troggs)

It is an interesting dilemma for many of us when faced with the prospect of choosing between the good girl/boy or the bad girl/boy side of us.  Should we behave appropriately or let ourselves act as we wish?

I suppose the answer is; it depends.

I know for sure I have a massive, mischievous side to me…this conundrum of how to behave remains an  ongoing rift between my inner angel and devil .  Not quite sure if I am behaving badly, or just being me.

The wildness within each of us…more often than not, gets suppressed…especially at work…or in certain company…sitting on the bus…shopping…in most of our days activities…then we go home to place we feel safe and let it all out…at times we may go overboard and hurt the ones who love us the most.

When we unleash our wildness…we unleash our creative power…our zest for life…our smile…our laughter…our uniqueness…the very essence of what people fall in love with.

This inner fire…cannot emerge unless you throw caution to the wind…say and do things which may be a little edgy…

The Summer Solstice marks the first day of the summer…the longest day of the year…as we are surrounded by more light…our spiritual fire is stoked…then wild things start to happen… dreams begin to take shape…the suns’ energy catapults us forward. Whilst the diminishment of light draws us inward, the expansion of light pushes us outward.

For today…this week… for the next six months, set a goal to let your heart sing…

Take your hands off the handle bars of your bike…dance in the supermarket…smile at a stranger…speak to the lady sitting next to you on the bus…eat sushi, if you have never tried it…wear a dress that may show a little extra flesh…forget to put on your makeup…stay up late…make love in the morning or the afternoon after lunch…take up boxing…read a saucy novel…eat breakfast for dinner…kiss your lover when they least expect it…invite friends over without scheduling ahead…sing so everyone can hear…do yoga under a tree…in a park…on the roof…

Whatever stirs your inner fire…do it…and do more of it. You just “make everything groovy”.

Negativity and Pain

IMG_0038Sitting at Cafe Nero, an elderly cantankerous women sits next to me; chain smoking; her voice gravely from years of the adiction. My instinct is to get away…my whole being screamed for her to stop speaking…I absorbed her anger, and struggled to let it go.

A woman sat next to her with good intentions to quell her anger, listening to the complaints of her sad life, periodically interjecting with advice of how to be happier. The lady would not have it. Her anger escalated.

Then a young man, of Indian origin sat next to her, having already met her on several occasions. His demeanour was kind and gentle. He just sat and chatted. Her voice, no longer harsh, now softened.

It became apparent that here was a lonely woman, who just needed to be heard… to be seen… to be valued…

Negative people are actually hurting, so profoundly, they project their anger on to others. They try and push people away with their abrasiveness, often, successfully. In their mind, this justifies why people dislike them.

The young man projected kindness and compassion, then her anger began to fade.

Before walking away from a negative person sit and attend, you do not need to expose yourself for too long. Just remember the hurt they must feel.

The lesson here is that negativity usually means there is pain. Either in ourselves or others, stop…. pause…. take a moment to be present.

Get Naked

getnakedSummer is a particularly difficult time if any of us have even the slightest hint of not being at peace with their body. Sitting is a park soaking up the sun in one of the parks in London, people watching as I always do…

My eyes grazing the various people laying on blankets most in scantily clad clothes – not sure if they are at ease with their bodies.

It was about 20 years ago I hated my body…my legs were too big, my tummy never quite flat enough…I avoided the mirror at all costs…trying on clothes was pure torture…I had tried all the diets…lost nothing…gained when I had children..yet I struggled even before that.

Then…I got naked.

 No…not naked in public, just started getting in tune with my body…this was around 30. I would stand in front of the full length mirror, at first critiquing all the imperfections, then I began to see beyond those areas…and saw a body…a body that was protecting the soul…giving it the haven to explore the world and all its loveliness and sometimes its ugliness

I got naked…exposed my body to the world (fully clad) held my head up high…smiled knowing that my body and soul were joined now…they were on a journey together…holding hands as good friends would.

When it all started to happen…my body began to smile…and some of the excess weight, I used to hide my body with, slipped away. I ate differently…I exercised more…I stopped hiding.

Due to our busy lifestyle, our connection with our body and soul for many does not exist…your mind has become the authority…

Take time each day to connect to your body…stand in front of the mirror each day and look…keep looking until your judgment shifts. Meditate….practice yoga…breathe…exercise…make lots and lots of love…with the lights on…allow your lover to see every inch of you…

Trust…always believe in yourself

LakesTrust…trust you won’t fall…trust you will not regret…trust it was the right thing…trust in a higher power…trust in the self…trust in your loved ones…trust all will be all right…trust that hurt will eventually diminish…trust you will be happy again…trust…trust…trust.

Trust weaves a web around all areas of our lives. Until we internalise trust…living can be a struggle…questioning choices…people’s motives…life, itself.

Trust is instilled in us as children…our parents are usually the first teachers of trust. You trust they love you without conditions…they are there by your side no matter what…if you make a mistake they are there to pick you up.

Trust then begins to waver as we grow and enter the world beyond the family…this is the beginning of second guessing, everything. Our sense of safety begins to wobble.

Trust is essential for our wellbeing. How then can we return to a place of trust?

Trust your inner voice…the voice that speaks even if it is just a whisper…don’t wait for it to start screaming. As a child will start with a whimper and if ignored will eventually yell.

Trust that you are loveable.

Trust that no matter what you try you will make it happen, if you desire it enough.

Trust…just believe in yourself.